I'd found it under the front seat of Dad's pickup, the company truck he used on construction jobs. A magazine. I guess it could have been left there by anyone. It wasn't the usual magazine. It had pictures, lots of them and all in color. Even the cover was far-out. I had to get the nerve to just turn to the first page. All those naked… So I hid it under my mattress and didn't dare touch it again until this morning when I woke up and for some reason slipped it out of its hiding place and under my pillow.
In the next room they were fighting again. Always in the morning like a couple of clocks. Trailer walls were so thin. It was hard to keep from hearing certain things.
"…how long do you think a man can wait?" Al, my father, said!
"You just don't think of how inconvenient it can be for me in the morning…" That from Elaine. My mom.
"Al, please don't raise your voice. Lorrie will wake up…"
I turned over on my stomach and touched the magazine. The glossy pages stuck to my fingers. From the next room the voices were muted now, coming to me in blurred spurts of sound. I pulled the magazine out from under the pillow. Oh, Lord Jesus! That girl with her legs spread, her smile, her tits offered up like that! I swallowed, wet my lips, swallowed again. Flip the page. My heart thudded, breath grew ragged like it always did when I studied the veins in the dark-haired man's cock. It was huge! Or at least it looked huge there in color on that glossy page. White along the shaft with a ridged, swollen head… if that was what you called it. Something like a mushroom but dark-blue and shiny. Shiny from the girl's mouth. The girl was looking at the cock lovingly, her tongue lolling out. It looked big enough to choke her if she let the man do what he seemed about to do. I flipped another page. God, God, God! A whole series of pictures, a sequence of a couple actually screwing! I found I was holding my breath and let it out with a whoosh. My nipples tingled. I slipped a palm down to brush one turgid stalk. The tingling got worse… or better. I wished I knew how to accept the things that had happened to my body the past few years. Like my tits especially. They'd gotten so big! At first I'd kind of liked the shape they took, but when they didn't stop growing, when they bulged out of last year's dresses and made all the boys start calling me big tits behind my back… In a way I was glad we'd moved to a new town.
I peered closely at the pictures showing the man's cock tip pushing against the squishy red membranes of the woman's open slit. Her legs were thrown back and she even held one ankle with her hand. The man had a boob in his mouth and in the next picture his bluish knob wasn't visible any more. It was inside the woman's body. My cunt throbbed and I felt a flood of juices seeping between the closed lips, drenching my hot, tingly petals. I wondered how it must feel to the woman to have herself split like that! And how it must feel to the man. Surrounded by all that buttery, hot… pussy.
I slid my own hand down under my belly, curled fingers under the furred curve of my body. I was eighteen now. Was that supposed to be a special time? My finger trembled along the furry divide of my slit. I flipped another page, sucked a short breath. The woman lay on her back with her elbows hooked under her knees. Her cunt petals were peeled wide. Her cunt glistened with wetness and the man who bent his face close to her gash was glossy around his lips and chin. His tongue was just touching the little ridge of flesh above her hole. I found that I was crinkling the pages of the magazine, I was holding it so hard. I moved the finger that lay against my warm pussy mound, moved it again and felt the wetness, the slickness. I pressed up and in until the outer cuntlips surrounded one knuckle completely. My breath was a hot ball in my throat. A silent bird beat against my insides. Each time I stroked the finger through the clinging membranes, I felt I was stepping into some forbidden territory, breaking unspoken taboos, taboos so frightening that none of my friends had ever spoken to me about them. A vague cloud of wickedness seemed to hover above my bed. I felt almost as if I were another person, separate from myself, watching the naughty girl on the bed with her dirty magazine and her finger in her… pussy. That word again. Why did it make me shiver just thinking it? I rubbed my slit faster, fanned a fingertip over the hot nubbin of flesh that seemed half-hidden under a hood. I explored farther down the buttery gash with a thumb, but like always I could find no spot that even hinted of a deeper place. That well into the depths of my body, the hot, slick tunnel that the woman in the magazine had. How deep could the man's cock go before the woman could cry out in pain? How fast did he… fuck her!
I moaned in my throat, more a growl really. The feeling of my hand on my swollen gash was too good not to moan! I rubbed my tits against the sheet. The nipples slipped out of the surrounding softness, poked their tenderness against the roughness of the bed. I widened my thighs and began to move my ass slowly up and down. The movement and the tightening of the large muscles in my butt added to the tension. I pushed the magazine to the side and put both hands against my cunt mound, spread my slit wider, gouged the sloppy pink tissues until I moaned again in rhythm to the touch. But what would it feel like if I took off all my clothes?