Chapter Nineteen

“Thanks for picking me up.”

“No bother.” But the stress on Peter’s face was obvious.

“Has the succubus given you any hassle?”

“Nah. She came around once, and Eddie sent her packing. Turns out the rest of the succubi are embarrassed by the whole deal with you and her. Esther told us they’ve all been warned away from you for now. Everything go as planned?”

I laughed. “Not at all. Becca’s going to die over here tonight by the hands of a hero Guardian.”

“Pity you won’t get the credit for it. You could use the fear bonus.”

Trust Peter. He gave me a sideways glance, and I knew something bad was coming.

“What is it?”

His sigh was heavy. “Be prepared, Ava. He’s slipping away. We’re probably too late.”

“We’re not,” I said firmly, pushing the thought out of my head.

I started to cry when I saw the grim look on Eddie’s face. He looked so apologetic, so mournful, that I was convinced it was over. I imagined death in the air, as if I were carrying it around and infecting people with it.

But Carl was still alive. Barely.

I rushed over to him and took his hand. A little tremor went through his wasted body. He’d lost a couple of stone while I’d been gone. He had aged, his eyes dulled, and even though I sat next to him, he could barely move.

“How could this happen?” I whispered.

“It’s all been too much, too soon,” Eddie said. “Nobody is built to go through everything he has. His mind, his body, it’s taken everything out of him. There’s no way you can break the bond yet, and we have no way of knowing if you being here is enough for him.”

“There has to be something! Have you given him medicine, magic, everything you can think of?”

“Ava. You know I have. I’ve tried it all. Nothing’s strong enough.”

“But… I don’t want him to die.” Only my sniff was louder than my sob. I couldn’t rein it back. With trembling fingers, I stroked Carl’s hair, noting the streaks of silver running through it. “I did this to him. I’m sorry, Carl.”

I caught his eye, those blank empty eyes, and he smiled. He slowly turned his wrist to me, as if to say, “Drink.” I couldn’t take it.

I ran out of the room, needing to get away from what I had done. I sat in the backroom until Peter joined me.

“It’s not your fault,” he said. “But if you fall apart, then you’re no use to him, and that will be your fault.”

I glared at him, feeling the need to punch him in his stupid face, but my shoulders drooped instead. I looked away because I didn’t have the energy anymore. Carl had been the first step for me to actually live, instead of just exist. He was dying, and it was mostly my fault, no matter what anyone said. I felt more for him than I had when my own grandmother had been in danger, and it dawned on me that family, true family, was something different than the blood running through my veins.

I took Peter’s point, though, and I stitched my messy emotions back together, somehow putting a pin in everything I was feeling. I returned to sit with Carl, holding his hand while he slept, and concentrated hard on helping him. I tried to do things with the abilities I had, hoping they would somehow open up something special. I had healed wounds in the past. Perhaps I could do other things if I really tried.

But nothing happened. Minutes turned to hours, and Carl’s breathing stayed shallow. My fear and despair increased, but there had to be an answer. I kept thinking of our last bond, how it had ended, how he had offered me his blood when I needed it. Our bond was stronger this time. I had to be the one who could help him.

“What if he drinks my blood?” I asked Eddie when the sun began to set. I felt as though there were power at that time of day because it was when the dead lived again.

“There’s no reason to think that would help him.”

“But he’s bonded to me. That has to count for something. And I’ve healed cuts before. There’s something in my blood that does it. I’m sure of it.”

“Not always,” Peter reminded me. “Only when you drank blood.”

“I’ll drink it, then!” I shouted, startling them both. “I can’t just sit here and wait for him to die. He’s our friend. We have to try everything.”

Eddie looked defeated, as though he couldn’t take another second of being around us. But he nodded. “I’ll get you some, and we’ll try a few things. We’ll try and put some life into him.”

Eddie left us, and Peter tried to argue with me, but I ignored him and concentrated on Carl. I felt as if looking at him was keeping him alive for another minute, and every second was precious.

“Ava, you need to accept what might happen,” Peter began.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“He chose to live dangerously. He chose to hang around with us instead of going home. He’s an adult, and his decisions caught up to him.”

I slapped Peter hard across the face, leaving a red mark. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t shout. He didn’t retaliate. All he did was shake his head and leave the room. I sat with Carl and waited. I willed him to get better, hoping my strength would somehow leech into him, but nothing happened.

The numbers in my head passed my lips rapidly as the minutes wore on. Eddie was taking too long. Peter stormed into the room, rolling up his sleeves. I half-expected him to punch me, but he shoved his tattooed wrist in front of my face. I stared up at him in confusion.

“Bite. Go on.”

“Are you… on something?”

He rolled his eyes and dropped his arm to his side. “Carl’s my friend, too. You don’t even know what he’s done for me. I don’t want to sit around and do nothing when he needs us. If you think it might help, then take some blood.”

“Eddie’s getting me some,” I reminded him.

“But it’s not as good as fresh. We all know that. Just do it before I change my mind. I need to know I tried everything, too.”

I gaped at Peter, more touched by his offer than I could have ever imagined or even expressed. “Are you sure?”

He put his hands on my shoulders, and a sense of calm fell over me. “Ava. I’m sure.”

I rose, laid my palms on his cheeks, and kissed him right on the lips. He held on to me for a moment before pushing me back with a sad smile. He held out his wrist again. My mouth watered at his cinnamon scent, but I hesitated because I was absolutely terrified. Peter’s arm didn’t shake. He was like a rock, but my fingers trembled on his pulse.

I glanced up at him, but he had his eyes closed and was humming to himself. I gripped my cross for support, and bit. Peter gasped, and I almost pulled away, but then I tasted his blood, and I couldn’t stop. He shifted slightly, and I gathered myself a little, counting for distraction, to keep me human, to know when to stop.

Life flooded into me. The taste wasn’t the best part, even if blood made the regular food I ate taste like ash. It was the pure raw energy coming from his veins. I felt more powerful than I had in years. Between being away from the succubus, dealing with Becca, making new allies, and taking some of Peter’s blood, I was high with power. But I wasn’t close to losing control, and I didn’t need to count to stay human. I cared, and for a change, it didn’t weaken me.

I pulled away and licked his wound gently, relieved when I saw it heal. Eddie came in with the bags, and he didn’t look surprised. I suspected he had taken his time for a reason.

Peter flopped into a chair, his eyes still closed, and I guessed we would have to deal with the consequences another time. I turned to Carl, his skin greying, and bit my own wrist, my stomach turning at the unnatural action.

I pulled his bottom lip down gently and let my blood drip into his mouth. “Drink,” I said, and he obeyed because he had no choice. He didn’t grimace, or try to drink more. As the liquid passed his lips, I focused on my inner light and tried to will it into him. I imagined I was giving him my essence, that our bond was becoming something different, more powerful.

Eddie laid his palm on Carl’s forehead and muttered in an ancient guttural language. The words sounded rough and beautiful all at once. I felt the air shift and realised Eddie was using energy from the souls. I didn’t care. Not then.

“Sleep,” I told Carl after a while. I closed my own wound and gazed at Eddie, hoping he would tell me something good.

“We tried,” he said. “Now we wait.”

Peter left the room without saying a word. I hoped we hadn’t ruined our friendship, but life and death called for hard decisions and sacrifices. I would never forget Peter’s sacrifice, and I doubted he would either. That was the problem.

I fell asleep sitting next to Carl and awoke with a crick in my neck. Carl had a little colour in his cheeks, and I took that as a good sign.

I stayed with him as much as possible because he seemed healthier when I was there, as though I gave him vitality in some small way. I was sure it had to do with him ingesting the blood of the one who owned him. I would deal with what he thought about drinking blood another time. Hopefully.

“I think he’s getting better,” I told Eddie when he checked in on us. “He’s definitely looking better.”

“Perhaps.”

“Eddie. Is there any way my blood could change him?”

“I don’t think so. We can’t know, but I really wouldn’t imagine so.”

“Good.”

“The Council announced the death of Becca today. It’s all done. Aiden got the credit for it.”

“So he’s in on it,” I said, unsure if I liked that particular turn of events.

“He’s a consultant. They trust him.”

“I don’t. He can’t even see what’s in front of him.” I couldn’t wipe the frown from my face.

“You can’t judge him for not having the same abilities as you,” Eddie said, annoyingly sensibly.

“It’s all over,” I muttered, feeling as though it was all only beginning.

“Ava,” he said softly, in that way of his that signalled bad news. “If the bond continues for much longer, he’ll lose himself completely.”

“He won’t survive the break.” I gritted my teeth. “He’s not strong enough yet.”

“I know. I’ve been thinking about this. Your blood has helped, but it’s come too late. He needs a boost of something to tide him over.”

“Like one of your spells?” I asked, suddenly hopeful.

“I doubt any of mine could help him without hurting him later on. But I’ve heard that true angels can perform blessings. Rarely, but they fill the vessel with spirit, a miraculous recovery.”

“True angel? You mean like Gabe? Would it help?” I tried to stop my internal spring of hope from overflowing.

“It might give Carl the strength to survive the end of the bond. He isn’t healing properly like this. I can’t see him fully recovering until his mind is free.”

“Did I do the wrong thing?” I gazed up at Eddie, seeking an answer, guidance, anything. Eddie wasn’t a good man in my books, but he knew things, and I needed his knowledge.

“You had to try.” His tone was gentle but not exactly encouraging. “The blessing might be worth trying, too. Do you think you could persuade Gabe?”

“Me? No! He hates me. Why would he help?”

“Perhaps you can make a trade.”

“I don’t have anything.” I stared at Carl. Deep down, I knew I would try anything. Anything at all. Or I would always live with the guilt.

“I can stay with him,” Eddie said.

“I’ll go to the club then. Gabe wanted to see me.”

I waited to say goodbye to Carl in private. I didn’t believe for a second that Gabe would ever help us.