I’m here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I’ve nurtured every sensation man’s been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him. In spite of all his imperfections, I’m a fan of man.

 

Can you imagine what it was like? Ten billion years
providing a place for dead mortals to torture them-
selves? And like all masochists, they called the shots.
“Burn me.” “Freeze men.” “Eat me.” “Hurt me.” And we
did. Why do they blame me for all their little failings?
They use my name as if I spent my entire day sitting
on their shoulders, forcing them to commit acts they
would otherwise find repulsive. “The Devil made me
do it.” I have never made any one of them do anything.
Never. They live their own tiny lives. I do not live their
lives for them.

 

It’s not easy being the Barbra Streisand of evil, you know.