Chapter 8
The afternoon sun beat down on the balding head of Fred Saxton. No wonder everybody around here constantly wore a hat of some kind. In the winter, a hat provided protection from the bitter cold and biting wind that always blew through the valley. In the other, more pleasant seasons of the year, a hat provided shade from the sun that had a tendency to blister the head of any fair-skinned mid-westerner who ventured to higher ground. In every direction he peered, mile after mile of dry land sat covered in sage brush and hard dirt. The spring thaw had filled the nearby creek to capacity, but it still didn’t affect the desiccated land adjacent the worthless town of Cooper.
“Damn,” he said to no one in particular and kicked a potato rock with the toe of his $3000 ostrich skin boots. The development he’d been working on in outskirts of Cooper had turned into a debacle. He never thought he’d see the day when the Idaho project would seem like a cake walk compared to this calamity. He’d made a fortune turning barren land into gentlemen’s ranches, catering to the whims of the rich and fancy who wanted to vacation in the wild west in the lap of luxury. He’d risked everything on his first development, nearly eight years ago. Now he stood at what felt like the same precipice where success meant more money and failure was not an option.
Back then, when he’d started his first development, all he’d had to lose was his standing with a few commercial lenders. As his reputation for shrewdness and risk-taking grew, the small town banks, his traditional source of loans, became ever risk adverse; forcing him to seek what some would call questionable sources of money. And gambling with other people’s money, it turned out, was a perilous game of cat and mouse. He usually felt like the fat cat in most scenarios, but with the tightening of the water laws in Colorado, he’d started feeling more like a mouse. He didn’t like it one bit. The only reason he decided to bring in Senator Burwick was to help him skirt around some of the government regulations that were the most formidable obstacle of the project.
“You’d think a damn United States Senator could push this water project through,” Fred said to Carlos Irajos, his part-time driver and full-time body guard. “If I’d known two years ago that we’d be this far delayed on the project, I’d never had brought that good-for-nothing son of a bitch in on the deal in the first place.”
“You wanna wait in the car boss?” Carlos motioned to the jeep parked in the middle of the three thousand acre future development site. The lots had been marked into 50 to 250 acre home sites. Each boasted spectacular mountain views, a year round creek—a highly debatable fact that may or may not be included in the marketing material, and a lodge house with gourmet restaurant. Also included in the bargain price of your retirement fund would be a twenty stall horse barn, eighteen hole executive golf course and hundreds of miles of trails for riding and hiking.
The dust created by their entrance had settled and the jeep sat perched near the only shade for miles, under an old spruce tree that had somehow survived the drought. Saxton slapped the black Stetson back on his head after beating the dust from the brim on his jeans and stalked back to the jeep for his phone. “The least he could do is be here when he says he’s going to.”
Just as Fred reached in the jeep for his cell, a cloud of dust announced the arrival of the Senator and his hot little assistant. Fred considered her an unwelcome distraction, but Benji insisted she stay within spitting distance at their meetings. He’d assured him of her fidelity, all the while coping a cheap feel whenever he could manufacture an opportunity. Fred didn’t know why, but there was something about the girl, something in her eyes, that made him question her loyalty. But as was typical, Benji thought with his crotch instead of his head. Fred only hoped she proved as discreet as Benji had promised.
“This where the clubhouse is going to be?” Benji asked as he squinted around at the dry ground. Fred noted with disgust the Senator’s uncomfortable walk in his ironed jeans and flashy shirt. “You got landscaping in your budget, Saxton, because this is as barren a spot as the rest of the property. I still think you should’ve put the clubhouse near the creek. At least the cottonwoods would give the impression of lushness.”
Fred tried to keep his patience with the man who’d promised him water. Water would make every acre of land fertile. He wondered for the millionth time if Burwick could deliver. But until he knew for sure, he needed to keep his cool. But keeping calm wasn’t one of Fred Saxton’s strong suits. “We’ve been over this before, Senator. This site offers the easiest access for residents and provides the best views. Not to mention the fact that we need every acre of creek front property for the higher end lots. Now, listen,” Fred said. They could discuss landscaping over the phone, but the face-to-face meetings were reserved for things of a more delicate nature. “What progress have you made on the land acquisition? Last time we talked, you assured me that land in Hailey would be under contract within three months and I haven’t heard about your merry widow packing up and leaving town. Tell me you’ve got some good news, because my creditors are getting antsy.”
“There’s been a glitch.”
“That’s what you said last time. You said you’d take care of it.”
“Well, I thought I had it covered, but my guy in Hailey messed up. But,” Benji said with his hands raised, “I’ve made changes to the plan. I’m implementing them as we speak.”
Fred moved to stand behind Benji, spoke into the starched collar of his cotton shirt. “Senator, you’ve got one month to get that property under contract or I’m taking matters into my own hands.”
Benji whipped around to face him. “Now, Fred. Don’t go getting all worked up over this. I told you I was going to take care of it and I will. You’ve just got to be patient.”
“I’m fresh out of patience. I’ve done my own research. There are less than a handful of properties that would allow us to augment the water use of a project this size. The Woodward place is the best choice and by some accounts our only option. I’ve given you plenty of time to wrap this up. In one month I’ll see to it myself that she agrees to sell. And when she does, it’ll be to me, not to you.”
“So if I don’t have her place under contract in a month you’re cutting me out?”
“If I garner this deal on my own, you’ll have been no use to me, Senator. And a smart businessman like yourself knows the one who pays gets to play.” Fred turned to walk back to his jeep and Benji grabbed his arm.
“Saxton, we had a deal.”
Benji dropped his hand when he recognized the threat on Saxton’s face.
“One for which you haven’t delivered. I’ll be in touch.”
###
“Hey, what are you doing?” Lyle asked Kevin. He’d slipped away when they’d returned to the ranch from the airport and been gone for the better part of the afternoon. Lyle had found him near the eastern edge of the property, skipping rocks in a spot where the water ran deep and still.
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
Lyle picked up a small flat rock and watched it skip across the water toward the farthest bank. “Mom sent me to find you. The guy who lent her the truck is coming over. She wants us at home to meet him.”
“My home’s in Georgia.” Kevin could feel the anger simmering through his body. He’d never think of this place as home or forgive his mother for dragging him away from everything he knew and loved.
“You know what I mean,” Lyle said. “I’ve been looking for you for awhile, so she’s probably pretty pissed by now. We’d better get back.”
“You run off and seal your fate as her favorite. I’ll go back to the cabin when I’m ready.”
“What do you want me to tell her, Kev?”
“I don’t really give a damn.” He turned to search the riverbank for the perfect skipping rock. He used to skip rocks with his dad in this spot when they’d visit in the summer. His dad had taught him the perfect kind of rock to look for—flat and small. He’d showed him how to throw it side arm and catapult it across the tranquil surface. It was weird, driving back on the property knowing his dad wouldn’t be around to throw the football, ride ATV’s or skip rocks along the river. Kevin had learned to fish their first summer in Colorado before the cabin was built. The summer his dad died was when he’d promised to teach Kevin to shoot a gun.
Being in Colorado without his dad felt like betraying his memory. The cabin had always felt so warm and cozy, but now it seemed to strangle the breath out of his chest. He couldn’t stay inside for more than a few minutes before feeling an overwhelming need to get outside. He wasn’t staying there, he knew that for sure. He’d thought of nothing else on the plane ride but how he’d get back to Georgia. He didn’t know how exactly, but he was going back in a few days with Jenny no matter what his mom said. She didn’t care about what he wanted anyway. All she cared about was getting as far away from home and all the stuff that reminded her of dad. All the stuff that brought him the greatest sense of comfort. He hated his mom for making him come out here. And as mad as he was at her, he was even madder at his dad for leaving them alone.
He was the only kid he knew who didn’t have a father. Lots of his friends’ parents were divorced and their dads didn’t live with them anymore. But they still got to see them and hang out and stuff. And Lyle didn’t count because he didn’t seem to be upset about dad much anymore. He’d been sad at first and a little angry, but maybe he wasn’t old enough to realize all the things they were going to miss out on without a dad. Or maybe he just didn’t care because he’d always been mom’s favorite, now more than ever.
He had to find a way to convince Jenny to take him back with her. He needed to live in Georgia and go to school with his friends and keep seeing Jessica and just forget about all the bad stuff that’d happened in the last two years. If he could get Jenny on his side, she could talk mom into it because mom always said she was a little bit afraid of her. He heard Lyle sigh and turned to see him walk slowly back toward the cabin, listened to the crunch of leaves and twigs under his feet and the lonely call of a hawk in the distant sky.
###
Lyle heard gravel spray the underbelly of his mom’s old truck as he emerged from the woods near the cabin. He could hear his mom and aunt talking on the deck. The smell of the clean air and woods filled his heart with memories of the laughter and love they once shared as a family in the wide open space. They’d always come here to escape what mom called their unmanageable schedule at home. As crazy as it was, home had included a father who always had a smile and time to share when he wasn’t out of town. It also included a brother who could speak to people without trying to make them feel stupid for trying.
Lyle had always felt free on the ranch, kinda like Huck Finn, and he didn’t worry about school and sports like he did at home. He thought he’d get that feeling again when they’d gotten here, had hoped being here again would help him not feel so sad all the time and help his brother not be so angry. But if he thought moving here could change the way of things in his family he’d been reminded moments ago just how wrong he’d been.
###
Dodge pulled to a stop next to his truck, relieved to know he’d be going home in it instead of Sarah’s. Her truck ran like a charm, but wasn’t built for anyone over six feet. He’d just come around the hood when Sarah emerged from the cabin.
“Lyle, come meet Dodge, sweetie” she said to the boy who’d walked out of the woods. “Where’s your brother?”
“Hey.” Lyle stuck out his hand to shake Dodge and looked him in the eye. “You’ve got a sweet truck, Mr. Dodge. Sure you don’t want to keep mom’s a little while longer?”
Dodge looked down at the kid’s friendly face. He had a surprisingly strong handshake for an eleven-year-old and a quality about him that put Dodge at ease. “You think your mom would consider a trade, young man?”
Lyle’s quick smile showed a set of boyish dimples. He knew right away Lyle would be beating the girls off with a stick.
“I can talk her into just about anything, Mr. Dodge. And I like your truck a heck of a lot better than ours.”
“Call me Dodge, kid. I think my truck is safe.” He winked at Sarah. “Your mom’s very loyal to her clunker.”
Dodge stiffened when another woman walked from the cabin onto the drive. She was roughly the same size and shape as Sarah, but her hair was bright blonde and her eyes were a dark, almost midnight blue. She had a hard look about her. He pegged her as either a cock tease or man hater.
She cleared her throat by way of introduction.
“Where are my manners,” Sarah said. “This is my sister, Jenny. Jenny, A.J. Dodge.”
Jenny sauntered two steps forward and stuck out her hand and her chest and batted her lashes. Dodge took her outstretched hand in his own and gave Jenny the once over.
“Jenny,” Dodge said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Ummm,” Jenny purred. “The pleasure is all mine, I assure you.”
He looked over at Sarah and had to fight not smile. He recognized the look on Sarah’s face--he’d seen it a million times on the faces of his sisters whenever a boy was around. She was jealous. It pleased him more than it should have, seeing Sarah sneer at her sister.
Sarah turned to Lyle. “Did you find Kevin?”
Lyle looked at his feet and shrugged. “Yeah, he’s skipping rocks down by the river. Said he’d be back in a little while.”
Dodge watched disappointment wash over Sarah’s face. He knew just what it felt like to disappoint the ones you love the most. He wanted to comfort her. What was it about her that brought out every protective instinct?
“It’s just as well,” she said. “He’s more than a little angry about being here, so I don’t imagine he’d make the best impression anyway. We’re just heading into town for dinner, whenever Kevin decides to grace us with his presence. Would you like to join us?”
“That’s a tempting offer, but I’ll have to pass. I need to trailer one of my tractors over to my dad’s place. I’m sure he’s expecting me to stay. But another time.”
“Tomorrow then, after the horses? Will you plan to stay for dinner? I’d really like Kevin to meet you and to properly thank you for letting us borrow your truck. It pains me to say you were right--we never would have fit in mine.”
“Of course I was right. Do you want me to bring more horses for Jenny and the boys?”
Sarah’s smile waffled. “Two horses should be fine. The boys can ride after we check out the other side, if that’s okay?”
“Yeah, I’m sure they’ll be fine. I’ll see you around noon?”
“Perfect.”
“It was nice to meet you, Lyle,” Dodge said, and then turned to face Jenny, tipped his hat. “Jenny.”
Jenny eyed him with open appreciation. “Dodge.”
He chuckled all the way back to his truck and wondered how two sisters could look so much alike and be so different.
###
It was almost dark when Kevin came back to the cabin. He walked in as though nothing were wrong, even though he knew his mom would be worried. When he climbed the stairs, he found only Jenny and Lyle playing cards on the coffee table by the indoor fireplace.
Jenny glanced over her cards and her eyebrows rose in warning. “You’re not making a really good start out here, you know.”
Kevin threw his jacket on the back of a stool and shrugged. “Where’s mom?”
“Out looking for you. She’s worried and you will be in trouble.” She discarded an eight of clubs into a pile on the table. Lyle picked it up with a smile.
“Gin,” Lyle said. Jenny grimaced as he fanned out his card for her to admire. She watched Kevin sit on the couch and pretend to look around for his iPod.
“Aren’t you even going to try to get along with her?” Jenny asked. “She can’t be the only one who makes an effort, Kev. You’re going to have to meet her in the middle.”
“Why are you defending her all the sudden? I thought you understood how I felt about moving out here.”
“She’s my sister and she’s been through enough without you throwing your anger in her face every time she turns around. You need to cut her a break. She’s doing the best she knows how.”
“She’s been through enough? What about me? What about us?” He swung his arm around to include Lyle into the argument. “She’s the one who insisted we move here without even asking us if we wanted to, not that she’d care. Then she gets mad when we aren’t overjoyed to be here. Well, tough. I’m not happy about being here and I’m not going to pretend to be just to make her feel better. This was her big idea and she’s going to have to live with the consequences.”
“Are you through?” his mom asked from the top of the stairs. Her cheeks were red from the cold.
Kevin looked up, still breathing hard from his outburst with Jenny.
“You’re right,” she said. “I don’t care if you don’t want to be here. It hurts me to see you upset because we had to move, but it was my decision to make and I wouldn’t change my mind even now. You’re going to have to get used to the idea that this is our home and that’s all there is to it. I’m the only parent you’ve got and I won’t tolerate you talking to me or about me like you just did. And I won’t have you speak to Jenny that way, either.”
“We didn’t have to move, mom. The only reason we did was because you couldn’t stand to see us moving on without you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I mean Lyle and I still had friends and school and a life. Since dad died, everybody’s been keeping their distance from you because you’re a big downer all the time. So just because your friends couldn’t stand to hear you whine anymore you up and move us to the middle of nowhere so we can all be miserable. Well, I hope you’re happy because it worked--we’re miserable!”
“It’s going to take some getting used to,” his mom said. All the color had drained from her face and she looked really mad. “All I ask is for you to give it a chance and try to keep an open mind. Because we aren’t moving back.”
###
Sarah sat on the deck, sipped her wine and let the peacefulness of the night air fill her lungs and the empty places in her heart. Dinner had been a disaster, with Kevin sulking and Lyle and Jenny trying to lighten the mood. Sarah could feel herself slipping into the void of space where she’d spent much of the last two years, half present, going through the motions of every day life, but not really involved.
That’s what Kevin had meant, her being a downer. He was right. She suspected he and Lyle, Jenny and everyone else knew she was only partly in the moment most of the time. That’s why people kept their distance. Being in Colorado this past week had her feeling alive again. But she could feel herself backpedaling and she didn’t know how to stop the momentum.
So many people had advised them to seek counseling after Todd’s death. She’d resisted, thought it would be too weird, too weak, too slippery a slope to go down and ever get back up. Maybe her insistence on handling things herself, within the family, had been a mistake. Now that they were in a small town where the kind of therapy they needed probably wasn’t even available, she began to wonder if it might help. Typical.
“What are you sitting over there moping about?” Jenny asked.
Sarah sighed. Just the sound of it made her feel pathetic. “I’m just wondering if I should have put us all in therapy like everybody suggested.”
“Oh, pooh. That’s all you’d need is for Kevin and Lyle to use their dad’s dying as an excuse for everything that goes wrong in their lives. You don’t need therapy now any more than you did back then. You’re just a little lost at the moment. You’ll find your way. Hell, I’m starting to think being out here is just what you all need.”
Sarah looked at her surprised. Jenny had been supportive of her decision to move, always told Sarah to follow her instincts, that she was a good mother and to trust her gut. But at the same time, Sarah knew she’d been worried. This was the first time she’d heard Jenny admit the move was a good idea.
“Sarah, I know its hard hearing Kevin say what he did, but you can’t listen to him. He’s angry and upset, but he still loves you. He needs to know you’re sure about this and I think that’s why he’s pushing you so hard.”
Sarah watched the play of firelight flicker over Jenny’s features, her big soulful eyes and the button nose that softened the hard edges of her often biting personality. She could see her sister trying to organize her thoughts carefully so as not to say the wrong thing. She trusted the advice Jenny offered because she knew it came from her heart and intuitive mind.
“Don’t you remember when we were teenagers and we were mad at mom?” Jenny asked. “I don’t mean mad because she wouldn’t let us go to the mall or dumb stuff like that, but really mad.”
“Like the time I overheard her telling Mrs. Johnson you’d gotten your period?” Sarah asked. “You flipped out when I told you.”
“Exactly.” Jenny laughed. “I was furious with her for telling my personal business to a neighbor. She didn’t think it was a big deal. I thought she didn’t understand, couldn’t understand how humiliating it was for me to know that Mrs. Johnson knew something like that about me. I kept thinking, what if she tells Brad? What if Brad Johnson, the hottest guy in the seventh grade, knows I started my period?”
“You and mom didn’t speak for almost a week after the big blow up.”
“Do you know what I said to her during the big blow up?” Sarah shook her head. “I threw everything in her face I knew would eat away at her self-esteem. I told her she looked fat, she was the worst-dressed mother in school, she was an embarrassment to me, and I topped it off by telling her I hated her pecan pie.”
“What did any of that have to do with her telling Mrs. Johnson about you getting your period?”
“Nothing. I said it all to hurt her and make her feel small just the way she’d hurt me and made me feel small.” Jenny turned and looked Sarah in the eye. “That’s what Kevin’s doing to you. He’s hitting on every insecurity you have about this move to punish you, like he feels he’s being punished. But I also think, deep down, he needs you to stand up and convince him this is the right thing for all of you. If he sees you wavering about this he’s going to feel like the rug’s been pulled out from under him. He’s scared. He sees the uncertainty in your eyes and its making him worried.”
“Damn,” Sarah said. “You should have been a mother. That was good.”
Jenny smiled. “It was good, wasn’t it?”
“I am sure about the move. But when he’s like that, so angry and hateful, I don’t know how to convince him I’m doing this for him--for us--and not to punish him. We’ve all been through enough. I’m not trying to make it harder on him and Lyle. I knew this would be tough, but it’s harder than I thought.” Sarah reached out and took Jenny’s hand. “You sure you don’t want to move out here with us?”
Jenny squeezed her hand. “If this town’s full of Marlboro men like your Dodge, I may just have to put some serious thought into it.”
“He’s not my Dodge. You were the one he couldn’t take his eyes off.” Sarah almost winced when she heard the jealousy in her voice. She’d expected Jenny’s reaction to Dodge the moment she’d laid eyes on him. What she hadn’t expected was for it to bother her so much. Jenny raised her brows curiously. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound like that. I’m not sure where that came from.”
“I know where it came from and I’m damn glad to hear it. He’s hot. I’d hope you’d take an interest in a hot guy who’s taken an interest in you.”
Sarah snorted. “He’s not interested in me. He’s helping me with a few things because of some obligation. Then he’ll be gone.”
“He wasn’t obligated to lend you his truck or bring his horses out tomorrow. But he did, and he is. He was flirting with you earlier.” Jenny raised her hands when Sarah tried to protest. “I know flirting when I see it and he was flirting. And there’s not a thing in the world wrong with it.”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Sarah, your husband was a wonderful man. I know you can’t replace him because I don’t think there’s another man alive who can walk in his shoes. But that doesn’t mean you have to wither away with nothing but your memories of him keeping you warm at night.”
“I’m not interested in replacing Todd. I’m not interested in anything with anyone. I can’t imagine ever being interested in someone like that again.”
“That’s because you won’t let yourself think about dating and moving forward. You’ve already moved yourself and the kids damn near across the country. Why won’t you even consider starting over in another way?”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. With all the hostility I’m facing from Kevin right now, you expect me to start dating again. That would send the kids right over the edge.”
“You wouldn’t be dating for the kids, Sarah. You’d be doing it for you.”
Sarah snuggled deeper into the blanket she’d wrapped around her shoulders. “I’m not dating at all. And Dodge is the last person I’d consider dating anyway.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes, really. Can you honestly see me with him?”
“I’d actually like to see me with him. But he’s not interested in me, he’s interested in you.”
“Where do you get that, Jenny? I just don’t see it. I think you’re trying to plant a seed in my head to get me back on the dating wagon. All you’re going to end up doing is making a fool of me.”
Jenny reached over and squeezed Sarah’s arm. “I’m going to bed. I’ll leave you to your thoughts.”