Chapter 59
"My dear Lizzy, where can you have been walking to?" was a question
which Elizabeth received from Jane as soon as she entered their
room, and from all the others when they sat down to table. She had
only to say in reply, that they had wandered about, till she was
beyond her own knowledge. She coloured as she spoke; but neither
that, nor any thing else, awakened a suspicion of the truth. The
evening passed quietly, unmarked by any thing extraordinary. The
acknowledged lovers talked and laughed, the unacknowledged were
silent. Darcy was not of a disposition in which happiness overflows
in mirth; and Elizabeth, agitated and confused, rather knew that
she was happy than felt herself to be so; for, besides the
immediate embarrassment, there were other evils before her. She
anticipated what would be felt in the family when her situation
became known; she was aware that no one liked him but Jane; and
even feared that with the others it was a dislike which not all his
fortune and consequence might do away. At night she opened her
heart to Jane. Though suspicion was very far from Miss Bennet's
general habits, she was absolutely incredulous here. "You are
joking, Lizzy. This cannot be! — engaged to Mr. Darcy! No, no, you
shall not deceive me. I know it to be impossible." "This is a
wretched beginning indeed! My sole dependence was on you; and I am
sure nobody else will believe me, if you do not. Yet, indeed, I am
in earnest. I speak nothing but the truth. He still loves me, and
we are engaged." Jane looked at her doubtingly. "Oh, Lizzy! it
cannot be. I know how much you dislike him." "You know nothing of
the matter. That is all to be forgot. Perhaps I did not always love
him so well as I do now. But in such cases as these, a good memory
is unpardonable. This is the last time I shall ever remember it
myself." Miss Bennet still looked all amazement. Elizabeth again,
and more seriously assured her of its truth. "Good Heaven! can it
be really so! Yet now I must believe you," cried Jane. "My dear,
dear Lizzy, I would — I do congratulate you — but are you certain?
forgive the question — are you quite certain that you can be happy
with him?" "There can be no doubt of that. It is settled between us
already, that we are to be the happiest couple in the world. But
are you pleased, Jane? Shall you like to have such a brother?"
"Very, very much. Nothing could give either Bingley or myself more
delight. But we considered it, we talked of it as impossible. And
do you really love him quite well enough? Oh, Lizzy! do any thing
rather than marry without affection. Are you quite sure that you
feel what you ought to do?" "Oh, yes! You will only think I feel
more than I ought to do, when I tell you all." "What do you mean?"
"Why, I must confess that I love him better than I do Bingley. I am
afraid you will be angry." "My dearest sister, now be serious. I
want to talk very seriously. Let me know every thing that I am to
know, without delay. Will you tell me how long you have loved him?"
"It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it
began. But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his
beautiful grounds at Pemberley." Another intreaty that she would be
serious, however, produced the desired effect; and she soon
satisfied Jane by her solemn assurances of attachment. When
convinced on that article, Miss Bennet had nothing farther to wish.
"Now I am quite happy," said she, "for you will be as happy as
myself. I always had a value for him. Were it for nothing but his
love of you, I must always have esteemed him; but now, as Bingley's
friend and your husband, there can be only Bingley and yourself
more dear to me. But Lizzy, you have been very sly, very reserved
with me. How little did you tell me of what passed at Pemberley and
Lambton! I owe all that I know of it to another, not to you."
Elizabeth told her the motives of her secrecy. She had been
unwilling to mention Bingley; and the unsettled state of her own
feelings had made her equally avoid the name of his friend. But now
she would no longer conceal from her his share in Lydia's marriage.
All was acknowledged, and half the night spent in conversation.
"Good gracious!" cried Mrs. Bennet, as she stood at a window the
next morning, "if that disagreeable Mr. Darcy is not coming here
again with our dear Bingley! What can he mean by being so tiresome
as to be always coming here? I had no notion but he would go
a-shooting, or something or other, and not disturb us with his
company. What shall we do with him? Lizzy, you must walk out with
him again, that he may not be in Bingley's way." Elizabeth could
hardly help laughing at so convenient a proposal; yet was really
vexed that her mother should be always giving him such an epithet.
As soon as they entered, Bingley looked at her so expressively, and
shook hands with such warmth, as left no doubt of his good
information; and he soon afterwards said aloud, "Mrs. Bennet, have
you no more lanes hereabouts in which Lizzy may lose her way again
to-day?" "I advise Mr. Darcy, and Lizzy, and Kitty," said Mrs.
Bennet, "to walk to Oakham Mount this morning. It is a nice long
walk, and Mr. Darcy has never seen the view." "It may do very well
for the others," replied Mr. Bingley; "but I am sure it will be too
much for Kitty. Won't it, Kitty?" Kitty owned that she had rather
stay at home. Darcy professed a great curiosity to see the view
from the Mount, and Elizabeth silently consented. As she went up
stairs to get ready, Mrs. Bennet followed her, saying, "I am quite
sorry, Lizzy, that you should be forced to have that disagreeable
man all to yourself. But I hope you will not mind it: it is all for
Jane's sake, you know; and there is no occasion for talking to him,
except just now and then. So, do not put yourself to
inconvenience." During their walk, it was resolved that Mr.
Bennet's consent should be asked in the course of the evening.
Elizabeth reserved to herself the application for her mother's. She
could not determine how her mother would take it; sometimes
doubting whether all his wealth and grandeur would be enough to
overcome her abhorrence of the man. But whether she were violently
set against the match, or violently delighted with it, it was
certain that her manner would be equally ill adapted to do credit
to her sense; and she could no more bear that Mr. Darcy should hear
the first raptures of her joy, than the first vehemence of her
disapprobation. In the evening, soon after Mr. Bennet withdrew to
the library, she saw Mr. Darcy rise also and follow him, and her
agitation on seeing it was extreme. She did not fear her father's
opposition, but he was going to be made unhappy; and that it should
be through her means — that she, his favourite child, should be
distressing him by her choice, should be filling him with fears and
regrets in disposing of her — was a wretched reflection, and she
sat in misery till Mr. Darcy appeared again, when, looking at him,
she was a little relieved by his smile. In a few minutes he
approached the table where she was sitting with Kitty; and, while
pretending to admire her work said in a whisper, "Go to your
father, he wants you in the library." She was gone directly. Her
father was walking about the room, looking grave and anxious.
"Lizzy," said he, "what are you doing? Are you out of your senses,
to be accepting this man? Have not you always hated him?" How
earnestly did she then wish that her former opinions had been more
reasonable, her expressions more moderate! It would have spared her
from explanations and professions which it was exceedingly awkward
to give; but they were now necessary, and she assured him, with
some confusion, of her attachment to Mr. Darcy. "Or, in other
words, you are determined to have him. He is rich, to be sure, and
you may have more fine clothes and fine carriages than Jane. But
will they make you happy?" "Have you any other objection," said
Elizabeth, "than your belief of my indifference?" "None at all. We
all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would
be nothing if you really liked him." "I do, I do like him," she
replied, with tears in her eyes, "I love him. Indeed he has no
improper pride. He is perfectly amiable. You do not know what he
really is; then pray do not pain me by speaking of him in such
terms." "Lizzy," said her father, "I have given him my consent. He
is the kind of man, indeed, to whom I should never dare refuse any
thing, which he condescended to ask. I now give it to you, if you
are resolved on having him. But let me advise you to think better
of it. I know your disposition, Lizzy. I know that you could be
neither happy nor respectable, unless you truly esteemed your
husband; unless you looked up to him as a superior. Your lively
talents would place you in the greatest danger in an unequal
marriage. You could scarcely escape discredit and misery. My child,
let me not have the grief of seeing you unable to respect your
partner in life. You know not what you are about." Elizabeth, still
more affected, was earnest and solemn in her reply; and at length,
by repeated assurances that Mr. Darcy was really the object of her
choice, by explaining the gradual change which her estimation of
him had undergone, relating her absolute certainty that his
affection was not the work of a day, but had stood the test of many
months suspense, and enumerating with energy all his good
qualities, she did conquer her father's incredulity, and reconcile
him to the match. "Well, my dear," said he, when she ceased
speaking, "I have no more to say. If this be the case, he deserves
you. I could not have parted with you, my Lizzy, to any one less
worthy." To complete the favourable impression, she then told him
what Mr. Darcy had voluntarily done for Lydia. He heard her with
astonishment. "This is an evening of wonders, indeed! And so, Darcy
did every thing: made up the match, gave the money, paid the
fellow's debts, and got him his commission! So much the better. It
will save me a world of trouble and economy. Had it been your
uncle's doing, I must and would have paid him; but these violent
young lovers carry every thing their own way. I shall offer to pay
him to-morrow; he will rant and storm about his love for you, and
there will be an end of the matter." He then recollected her
embarrassment a few days before, on his reading Mr. Collins's
letter; and after laughing at her some time, allowed her at last to
go — saying, as she quitted the room, "If any young men come for
Mary or Kitty, send them in, for I am quite at leisure."
Elizabeth's mind was now relieved from a very heavy weight; and,
after half an hour's quiet reflection in her own room, she was able
to join the others with tolerable composure. Every thing was too
recent for gaiety, but the evening passed tranquilly away; there
was no longer any thing material to be dreaded, and the comfort of
ease and familiarity would come in time. When her mother went up to
her dressing-room at night, she followed her, and made the
important communication. Its effect was most extraordinary; for on
first hearing it, Mrs. Bennet sat quite still, and unable to utter
a syllable. Nor was it under many, many minutes that she could
comprehend what she heard; though not in general backward to credit
what was for the advantage of her family, or that came in the shape
of a lover to any of them. She began at length to recover, to
fidget about in her chair, get up, sit down again, wonder, and
bless herself. "Good gracious! Lord bless me! only think! dear me!
Mr. Darcy! Who would have thought it! And is it really true? Oh! my
sweetest Lizzy! how rich and how great you will be! What pin-money,
what jewels, what carriages you will have! Jane's is nothing to it
— nothing at all. I am so pleased —so happy. Such a charming man! —
so handsome! so tall! —Oh, my dear Lizzy! pray apologise for my
having disliked him so much before. I hope he will overlook it.
Dear, dear Lizzy. A house in town! Every thing that is charming!
Three daughters married! Ten thousand a year! Oh, Lord! What will
become of me. I shall go distracted." This was enough to prove that
her approbation need not be doubted: and Elizabeth, rejoicing that
such an effusion was heard only by herself, soon went away. But
before she had been three minutes in her own room, her mother
followed her. "My dearest child," she cried, "I can think of
nothing else! Ten thousand a year, and very likely more! 'Tis as
good as a Lord! And a special licence. You must and shall be
married by a special licence. But my dearest love, tell me what
dish Mr. Darcy is particularly fond of, that I may have it
tomorrow." This was a sad omen of what her mother's behaviour to
the gentleman himself might be; and Elizabeth found that, though in
the certain possession of his warmest affection, and secure of her
relations' consent, there was still something to be wished for. But
the morrow passed off much better than she expected; for Mrs.
Bennet luckily stood in such awe of her intended son-in-law that
she ventured not to speak to him, unless it was in her power to
offer him any attention, or mark her deference for his opinion.
Elizabeth had the satisfaction of seeing her father taking pains to
get acquainted with him; and Mr. Bennet soon assured her that he
was rising every hour in his esteem. "I admire all my three
sons-in-law highly," said he. "Wickham, perhaps, is my favourite;
but I think I shall like your husband quite as well as Jane's."