Nancy

NANCY FORELAND opened her eyes. “Please, sir.” Her throat felt scalded. The bearded man put a big rough palm to her forehead and stroked back her damp hair.

“Gently does it now,” he said. “Help’s on the way.”

The shouting seemed far off. Closer to her ears and nostrils, whispering ladies hovered. Worse than their cloying sweetness was the smell of smoke and horse manure. The baby inside her turned, punching and kicking. Nancy felt on the verge of expelling it onto the wet grass. “Find my husband, will you?” She tapped her front teeth, speaking with difficulty. “He has a gap right here. His name is Francis Foreland. He’ll be wearing a white pharmacy coat. Go now. Tell him the baby is coming.”

“Mrs. Foreland!” Mrs. Tillman, the reverend’s wife, appeared, shiny with sweat.

Nancy was relieved to see a familiar face. “I think the baby is coming.”

Mrs. Tillman stooped at Nancy’s side. “Nonsense. It’s too soon.”

The bearded man demanded, “Where’s the bloody doctor?”

Mrs. Tillman fussed with the coat covering Nancy. “Who was called?”

He exploded. “Christ—”

Mrs. Tillman clapped her hands to her ears. “Sir!”

“—Almighty! I don’t know.”

“I’ll thank you to keep a godly tongue in your head,” said Mrs. Tillman.

“He was sent for a good ten minutes ago,” said the man.

Mrs. Tillman stood, glaring down at him. “We’ll take her to Dr. Wheeler.”

Nancy latched on to his arm. “Francis will take me. Find him, please.”

“You’ll bring her to our buggy, sir,” Mrs. Tillman said. “The reverend is in no condition.”

He put his arms beneath Nancy and began a wobbly rise. She grasped his vest with both hands to keep from falling. He shifted her weight. “I have you, madam.”

Mrs. Tillman pointed. “Over there, over there.”

Nancy took hold of his neck, ashamed of her enormous self. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s no trouble,” he said, clenching his teeth.

“Will you find my husband, sir? Tell him where I’ve gone?”

A glimmer of tears rose in his dark eyes. “You have my word.”

He carried her through the murmuring crowd, across the street to the Tillmans’ buggy, which was tied to a spared poplar in front of what was left of their first home together. Nancy tucked her chin and wept. It was entirely her fault. Clumsy and cramping, she’d tipped a lamp and fallen in the attempt to right it. She remembered seeing the front legs of Francis’s chair catch fire and thinking her chair would be next. And then she found herself outside, looking up at a starless night sky and the soot-faced man. She’d thought he was a colored at first.

IN THE BEGINNING, the Forelands thought themselves lucky to have found such a convenient place so close to the pharmacy, where Francis had just been entrusted to man the night-bell service by himself. The rent was sixteen dollars a month for a spacious four rooms and pantry; but, as the real-estate man said, what did they have to show for their money but a receipt?

For five hundred dollars, one third up front, and the balance due within two years, they could own a 50-by-135-foot lot in Berkeley Heights. The real-estate man promised unrivaled views. At an elevation of 350 feet, the outlook opposite the Golden Gate surpassed any scenery on the Pacific coast, he claimed. The persuasive gentleman made a window of his fingers.

“Just picture the daily majesty! And that’s not all, young people!”

They’d hardly want to leave such a wonderful place, he said, though when the need arose they’d find the Berryman station just two short blocks away. The Oakland Electric railroad had extended its line to serve Berkeley Heights. And, as if that weren’t incentive enough, they’d have complete sewer and water systems, macadamized streets, and curbs, gutters, and sidewalks of concrete.

“You can’t afford not to afford it!” said the salesman.

Francis and Nancy began saving that afternoon. She let the housekeeper/plain-cook go, and he began working a long day on Saturday. Her father in Texas wired five dollars when he heard, and his heartiest congratulations.

Sundays became precious to them, the picnics on the beach off Delaware Street after church, the long strolls on campus among the oaks and eucalyptus. Nancy loved the sweet campus air; she loved all of Berkeley, with its rolling hills and canyons, its ever-changing bay. You can look, she’d say, but you won’t find a prettier place anywhere. At times on campus she liked to playact, strut along the gravel paths like the brainy girls, carrying her Bible the way they carried their texts, pressed to her ribs just so. Francis said there was no harm in daydreaming. He never poked fun. Nancy adored him, to the point of madness sometimes.

The bearded man said his name. Oaks. Mr. Henry Oaks. She was blanketed still inside his scratchy coat. “I won’t forget,” she said weakly. “You remind me of one.”

He arranged her ever so gently inside the Tillmans’ buggy, next to Mrs. Tillman. The reverend sat opposite.

“Thank you, Mr. Oaks,” said Nancy. “God bless you.”

He smiled a little, closing the buggy door. The reverend gave the signal and they were off before she could think to return Mr. Oaks’s coat.

“That one will be the last in line for God’s blessing,” said Mrs. Tillman, with her hot muttony breath. Nancy turned away, but there was no escaping the odor. The restless baby shifted downward. Nancy gasped, clamping her knees together and contracting every muscle in her body. It couldn’t possibly happen now, in a moving buggy, with Rev. Tillman looking on. The baby rolled again, kicking hard, as if to let her know it certainly could. Already she felt herself no match for this child.

THE DOCTOR’S front windows were aglow. Dr. Wheeler himself came rushing down the front walk, lamp held high and swinging. “Mercy,” he whispered, at the sight and smell of her.

Inside, the doctor’s maid took her filthy housedress and apron first thing, bundling them up as if for the rag bag. She dressed Nancy in a man’s robe, asking, “Is the hair on your legs growing normally? If it is, you’re having a girl. Though I’d personally put my money on a boy, the way you’re carrying high and round.”

“That’s what my husband thinks, too,” said Nancy.

The doctor gave her an injection. She barely felt his clammy hands between her legs. “You’re experiencing hysteria, not labor,” he said. Nancy bowed her head and thanked the Lord for hysteria.

The burns on her right hand were salved and bandaged. She was taken to the parsonage afterward and led up to a small dark room. The baby was still at last. “Wake me when Francis comes, please.” She closed her eyes and slept without dreaming.

THE NEXT MORNING Mrs. Tillman came in with a tray.

“Is Francis waiting?”

Mrs. Tillman sat at the edge of the narrow bed and attempted to spoon-feed her.

“I can manage.” Nancy picked up the spoon with her good left hand, testing the hot soup.

“Farina,” said Mrs. Tillman.

“Tasty,” Nancy lied, putting down the spoon. There were biscuits too, butter and a red jam, and tea to be poured into a pretty china cup, with honey and lemon. “Has anyone gone for him? Does he even know I’m here?”

Round-shouldered Mrs. Tillman inched closer. An oval mirror hung over the washstand. Nancy saw something of a gray vulture in the wavy reflection, as well as something of her own dead mother.

“Dear girl.”

Nancy began stroking her belly in small circles. Very bad news was coming. Your mother has gone to live with the angels. Nancy had thought her father said Engels. Her mother had gone to live with the Engels, the grocer and his wife. Angels or Engels. Neither made any sense.

Mrs. Tillman petted Nancy’s arm. “You must be brave now.”

Nancy stroked wider circles, wishing on her fetus as she once wished on a lucky stone. She wished the woman gone, wished her not to say another word.

“Mr. Foreland certainly was,” said Mrs. Tillman. Her bulbous nostrils quivered. “Your husband marched into that burning house like Shadrach himself.”

If you say it aloud it won’t come true. “Is he dead?”

Mrs. Tillman nodded, long tears starting down her mottled cheeks.

The wallpaper loomed, a dizzying cornflower pattern. Nancy stroked on, dazed and astonished. Why would God bother to bless them so exquisitely just to snatch it all away?

Mrs. Tillman dabbed at her eyes. “I was visiting Mrs. Louder two doors down, poor gouty woman. I saw Mr. Foreland bring you out. He ran right back into that black smoke. Why would he do that? Did you have a little dog? A little parakeet?”

“No, ma’am.” Nancy pushed the tray to the end of the bed and rolled onto her side, facing the wall. We had a little savings.

There could be no other explanation. He’d gone back for their Berkeley Heights money. Close to fifty dollars last count. The greedy fool would have had to find the right tool and pry up the right floorboard.

Mrs. Tillman pulled Nancy to her gaunt bosom, murmuring something about God’s will. Nancy hated her for it.

DR. WHEELER arrived within the half hour and gave her another injection. Before he came Mrs. Tillman tried to get her to pray. Nancy refused. She wanted nothing more to do with God the thief. Mrs. Tillman said to the doctor, “She’s suffering a crisis of faith just when she needs Him most.”

“May He shine His Almighty light upon her,” said the doctor.

“Amen,” said Mrs. Tillman. They both looked at her hopefully. Nancy looked away. The injection was beginning to take hold. Her mouth felt as dry as her heart.

The doctor asked, “Whom shall we contact on your behalf, dear lady?”

“There’s no one,” said Nancy.

He insisted. “Surely there’s someone. Try to think. An aunt you’ve forgotten? A second cousin?”

“My father’s in Texas. I have a brother there, too, but he’s not right in the head.”

Dr. Wheeler pressed on. “No one close by? A friend perhaps, a helpful neighbor?”

Nancy shook her head. There had been no room or desire for anyone else.

She lay in a state of blankness for the longest time after they left, her eyes trained on the closed door. She was as tired as she’d ever been, but determined to be awake when Francis finally came.