4
Ally straightened up and rubbed her aching back. Between painting the house and not sleeping well, her whole body was complaining. At least the kitchen walls were a gleaming white now, the blue tiles scrubbed, and the gray bleached out of the grout. There was still a lot to do, but it kept her busy. She pushed her hair out of her face. Busy was good. It gave her less time to brood.
A knock at the back door made her turn, and she frowned at the big brown shape through the frosted glass. Was it Rob again? He’d said he wouldn’t be back until she asked him, but he was so full of shit. She walked across to the door and then hesitated. Years of living in New York had sharpened her sense of self-preservation.
“Who’s there?”
“It’s me, Jackson Smith.”
Ally brought her hand to her mouth. She hadn’t seen Jackson since that night when she’d sought comfort in his arms and all hell had broken loose. She took a deep breath. He was just another obstacle she had to overcome. She’d faced Rob; surely Jackson would be easier? He certainly was sweeter.
Ally turned the key and opened the door. Jackson took off his sunglasses, but he didn’t smile as he looked down at her. His skin was the color of burnished copper, courtesy of his Lakota father, and, as usual, his almost-black eyes concealed his thoughts.
“Hi.”
“Hi, would you like to come in?” Ally gestured awkwardly into the house.
“Sure.” He followed her inside and waited by the table, his gaze roaming the kitchen as if he expected an ambush.
Ally folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the countertop. “You look well.”
“Thanks.” His gaze briefly connected with hers. “You look thin.”
“Models are supposed to be thin. Don’t you know that?”
He studied the faded linoleum. “But you haven’t been modeling for quite a while now, have you?”
Ally tensed. “Did Rob tell you that?”
A brief smile flickered over his stern face. “No. I can read.”
“All that shit on the Internet?”
“Not just that.”
“Then what?”
“Police reports, that kind of stuff. I worked as an NYC cop for a while before I moved back to California.”
“Oh.” Ally felt like he’d shoved his fist in her gut. “Then you know why I’m here.”
Again he considered her. “Not really.”
She sighed. “To make things right for one thing, to apologize to the people I hurt, and that definitely includes you.”
His head came up. “Are you sure about that?”
“Jackson, I put you in an appalling position. I almost destroyed your friendship with Rob—and what about Susan? I sure did ruin her life, didn’t I?”
He shrugged. “You had your reasons.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
His smile was gentle. “It means you should forgive yourself.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“I’ve had plenty of time to think it through, and the blame wasn’t all yours. I was equally to blame; you know that.”
Ally studied him for a long moment. How come it was so much easier to be honest with Jackson than it was with Rob? “I know that now, but I’m still sorry, Jackson.”
“Apology accepted.” He dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out his keys. “Now, give me your car keys.”
Ally’s tentative smile faded. “What?”
He looked at her as if she’d gone nuts. “I’m taking your truck to Vic’s shop.”
“Says who?”
“Rob said it needed fixing, so seeing as I’m on duty and not using my truck this week, I thought we’d swap until yours was repaired.”
“No.”
He paused. “You’re getting it done somewhere else?”
“I haven’t even called the guy yet!”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“The problem is that it’s nothing to do with either of you what I do with my truck.”
“You have to get it fixed, right?”
Ally gritted her teeth. “I know that, but I am not accepting help from you, or Rob, for anything.”
“Why not?”
“Because everyone would assume I was taking over my mother’s position as the town slut.”
Jackson put his keys back into his pocket. “How about I get you the parts, and I help you fix it right here?”
“How about you go home?”
He held her gaze, and she looked desperately for some sense of what he was feeling and found nothing. Had he always been so guarded?
He shoved a hand through his short black hair. “Ally, just accept my help, won’t you? I’ll come around after dark if it makes you feel better.”
Ally slumped back against the cupboard. Why was he being so nice? It made her feel like a bitch all over again. “I can’t afford to have the truck fixed at a shop, and I won’t let you or anyone else pay for it. Do you understand?”
“I hear you loud and clear.” Jackson put his sunglasses back on and headed for the door. “Have a good morning, Ally. I’ll see you around.”
When he shut the door, Ally closed her eyes tight. She didn’t want his charity. She wanted—she needed—to fix things for herself. How hard could it be to replace a light? She’d get a book from the library and take it from there. If she could just get a job to help her through the worst of this financial mess, she’d be able to pay for anything she damn well wanted.
She picked up her coffee mug and washed it out in the sink. Jackson had accepted her apology and seemed disinclined to discuss the past with her at all. She wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing. Behind his calm façade, she’d sensed something different in him, something far harder and darker than he wanted the world to see.
The alarm on her cheap plastic watch beeped and Ally opened the fridge. She didn’t feel like eating, but she had to. That bit of wisdom was one of the hard-earned lessons from rehab about having a healthy body to go with a happy, healthy mind. She made herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, with “wholesome” brown bread, and opened the free local paper she’d picked up at the store the previous night.
Of course, there was nothing in the jobs section that a washed-up supermodel could do. Ally finished her sandwich and then put her head down on the table. Sometimes it felt as if she’d just climbed one mountain to be faced with another. She forced herself to be positive. She wasn’t in debt anymore, and she didn’t want to go back there. So she’d wait until she got a job and would fix the truck then. The walk into town would be good for her too.
With a groan, she got up and stretched out her tired muscles. Next up was stripping the ancient linoleum from the floor and checking the state of the wood beneath. With a deep breath, Ally reached for her gloves. It was time to search out the vermin that probably lurked under the linoleum. She’d spent years around vermin of the human kind, so a few bugs really shouldn’t bother her.
 
“Ally wouldn’t give me the keys to her truck.” Jackson came into Rob’s office and shut the door firmly behind him.
Rob looked up from the report he was completing. “She wouldn’t? Why not?”
“Because apparently, she doesn’t like you interfering in her life.”
Rob sighed. “I was trying to help. She needs to get that light fixed.”
“Yeah, I get that, but she wants to do it herself.” Jackson leaned against the closed door and shoved his hands into his pockets. “You might’ve told me you hadn’t agreed about anything with her.”
“I suppose I’m so used to looking out for her that I forgot she’s changed.”
“Rob, she left you. You hate her guts. Why would you still be looking out for her?”
“Because I don’t hate her, and I’m an idiot?”
Jackson studied him for a long moment, and a sick feeling twisted his gut. “You’ve already gotten into her pants again, haven’t you? What are you? Fucking stupid?”
“I haven’t, it’s just that she—”
“Wrestled you to the ground and took advantage of you?”
“No!” Rob pushed his chair away from the desk and stood up. “It was all me and she was . . .” He hesitated. “She’s like a drug. I can’t seem to get her out of my head.”
“Jeez, man!” Jackson shook his head. “You need to stay away from her until you get your brain out of your dick. Mess around with her and then try and build your stupid case against her mother. She’ll have your ass in court before you can count to five.”
“Give me a break. I have no intention of involving Ally in anything.” Rob sat down, but Jackson didn’t move from his position by the door. Eventually, Rob had to look up at him. “What?”
“How about you give Ally a break, Rob? Let her get on with whatever it is she has to do here and leave.”
Jackson turned to go and Rob stared down at his report. “I don’t know if I can let her go again.”
“Then talk to her before you fuck her. Find out what’s really going on in her head and then decide what you’re going to have to do to make her want to stay.”
Rob looked up at him. “Do you want her to stay?”
Jackson paused, the door half open, and addressed his answer over his shoulder to Rob’s desk. “Of course I do. I like her. I always have.”
“You more than like her, Jackson.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’ve always suspected you want her as much as I do.”
“And she wanted you, Rob. She made her choice.”
“But Ally’s not a scared eighteen-year-old anymore. Maybe she doesn’t have to choose between us.”
Jackson’s gut tightened even more. “What are you trying to say?”
Rob shrugged. “Just that I wouldn’t make the same mistake again. If she wanted us both, I’d be happy to go along with it.”
“Are you serious?
“Yeah.” Rob held his gaze. “I am.”
Jackson struggled to think of a reply as his cock thickened in his pants. The thought of sharing a bed with Ally and Rob was something he’d consigned to his deepest, darkest fantasies. His fingers tightened on the door handle.
“You’re doing it again, buddy. Making decisions for Ally that aren’t yours to make.”
“Jeez, Jackson, give me a chance here. I’m just asking how you feel. It’s not like I’m going to spring the decision on Ally and just assume she’ll go along with it.”
Desperately, Jackson tried to change the subject. “If you want Ally to stick around, finding her a job might help. Have you asked Lauren?”
“Lauren hates her guts.”
“Everyone hates Ally in this town. Imagine how that feels and yet she’s back here facing it, dealing with it.”
All right. I get it. I’ll ask Lauren.”
For the first time, Jackson managed to smile. “Thanks.”
Rob waved him away. “Don’t thank me yet. My little sister is a hard nut to crack.”
“Don’t I know it. Appeal to her mercenary side. Tell her that everyone in town will be by to take a look at Ally, and that will increase her business.”
“Yeah, that might just do it.”
 
Jackson retreated, leaving Rob staring at the wall. He deserved Jackson’s wrath. He was behaving like an asshole. But he’d never been able to be cool around Ally; the fire between them, the closeness, the sense that they were meant to be together made that impossible. And it seemed that heat was still there.
And Jackson’s reaction to his admission that he wouldn’t object if they both got to fuck Ally hadn’t been quite as enthusiastic as he’d hoped either. But then Jackson always kept his emotions to himself, and he hadn’t exactly said no.
If Rob wanted to clear up the mysteries of the past, he had to stop leading with his dick and start using his supposedly firstclass brain. The least he could do was try and help Ally get a job. Then she might stick around until they sorted everything out.
He put on his jacket and checked to make sure his radio was on. Midmorning, before the lunch rush, was a good time to call on Lauren at the diner. He shied away from the thought of what Lauren would make of his asking for a favor—for Ally of all people.
When Rob came into the hallway, Jackson’s door was closed and he went past without knocking. He’d tell the front desk where he was going on his way out. It occurred to him that Jackson had spoken more this morning than he had in the last six months, and all on Ally’s behalf. Shit. Had Jackson realized that Ally was the woman he wanted? Was that why he’d been less than enthusiastic about Rob’s confession?
Rob paused to consider. After he’d punched Jackson in the face, they’d ended up apologizing to each other and eventually had resumed their old relationship. But what if Jackson now wanted Ally all for himself?
Rob found himself retracing his steps and knocking on Jackson’s door.
“Yeah?”
He went in and shut the door. Jackson looked up from the report he was reading.
“What’s up?”
“When I talked about us both having Ally”—Rob paused and Jackson groaned—“I should’ve asked you if you wanted her just for yourself.”
“Jeez, Rob. You’re making it sound like a done deal. She’s her own person. You’re not fucking God. Don’t you have to talk to Ally about this first?”
Rob set his jaw. “I’m just trying to make sure we’re clear with each other.” He hesitated. “Do you want me to butt out?”
“Like Ally would agree to that?”
“Hell, you’re the person she turned to when I let her down.” God, it was hard to say that, and impossible to look at Jackson.
“Rob.” Jackson sounded incredibly gentle. “If Ally wants us both, I’m more than okay with it. After the way I fucked up, it’s more than I ever imagined having a shot at. But it’s her decision, buddy, and let’s get real here—she’s unlikely to want to shack up with anyone in this town, especially you and me.”
Rob nodded and turned to leave. For some reason, speaking at that point was not an option. With a sense that his life was getting way too complicated, Rob walked the short distance across town to Lauren’s diner and went in the back to the kitchen.
Lauren was leaning against a countertop, eating an egg sandwich, her face flushed, her blond hair escaping the confines of her regulation hat. She was about a foot shorter than Rob and a lot curvier than Ally. He loved her to bits and she knew it.
Her gorgeous smile flashed out. “Rob? What’s up?”
He removed his sunglasses. “Can’t I just stop in to see my lovely sister without a reason?”
She finished off her sandwich and washed it down with a gulp of soda. “Now I’m really worried. What do you want?”
“A favor.” He took up a position opposite her, trying to keep his expression relaxed and friendly. “For an old friend.”
Her smile disappeared. “What old friend?”
“Someone you used to be best buddies with.”
“Ally Kendal?”
“So you know she’s back?”
“Everyone knows she’s back.” Lauren pursed her lips. “What I want to know is what it has to do with you.”
Rob glanced around, but everyone else in the small kitchen appeared to be occupied. “She needs a job.”
“So?”
“I was hoping you had an opening.”
“Even if I did, why would I give it to her?”
“As a favor to me?”
Lauren’s brown eyes flashed fire. “Ally dumped you. Why the hell would I want to help her?”
He met her furious gaze. “Because I need her to stay around for a while.”
“So you can what? Make things right with her?”
Rob thought quickly. “No, so that I can clear up something that’s been bothering me about Susan’s death.”
“Susan Evans?” Lauren studied him for a long moment. “Like I believe that.”
“It’s part of the reason. Ally was there that night, and no one got to talk to her. She might have evidence that will help me solve the case.”
“The case was solved, Rob. Susan committed suicide.” Lauren turned on her heel and headed into the tiny cramped back office. Rob followed her and waited until she swung around to face him. “I still don’t believe you.”
“I can’t help that. But Ally really does need a job.” He met her gaze. “Hell, I never ask you for anything, sis. Will you do this for me?”
She folded her arms over her chest. “That bitch hurt you, Rob. She almost destroyed you.”
He shrugged. “It was a long time ago. I’ve gotten over her.”
“Don’t lie to me. Sure, you date lots of women, but you’ve never allowed any of them to get close. I know because they come and complain to me about it all the time.”
Okay. Part of me wants to have it out with her, make her tell me why the fuck she did what she did.”
She nodded slowly. “I’d like to hear Ally try and explain herself as well. I’ll give her a job. I need a new busboy since Joe left.”
Rob frowned and stood up. “If you’re going to treat her like shit, I’ll go and find someone else to ask.”
“I’ll treat her the same as any other new employee. I swear.”
Rob considered her carefully. “You promise?”
Lauren smiled way too brightly. “Sure.”
He wasn’t convinced, but what else could he do? If Ally hated the job, she’d quit soon enough. “Now, how am I going to get Ally to find out about the job without telling her?”
“Easy, put a flyer in her mailbox. She’ll assume everyone got one with their junk mail and she’ll come over.”
“You are a genius.”
Lauren sat down at her desk and typed away on her computer. “I already had something drafted for the ad, so here you go.” The printer rumbled into action, and she leaned across to retrieve the single sheet from the mouth of the printer and handed it to Rob.
The paper smelled like fried chicken, but Rob was okay with that. He’d gotten used to his sister smelling the same way since she’d taken over the diner three years earlier. “Thanks, doll.”
She grimaced at him. “I’m not going out of my way to be nice to her, and if she gives me any trouble, she’s out, just like anyone else.”
“Totally.” Rob hesitated. “But give her a chance, Lauren, won’t you?”
“God, Rob, what does that woman have to do to you to make you stop caring about her?”
“I don’t—”
“Yeah, right, don’t even try that crap with me.” Lauren got up and headed back to the kitchen. “I’ll let you know if she takes the job, okay?”
“And you won’t tell her it was my idea?”
“Of course not! I don’t want her getting ideas about you again, do I? Although that’s probably why she’s back here anyway.”
Rob smiled down at her and resisted the impulse to smooth a hand over her obviously raised hackles. “That’s not the impression I got. She came back to sort out her mother’s stuff.”
Lauren grabbed a clean apron and tied it around her waist. “That place is a dump. I wonder why she just didn’t send some of her ‘people’ down to sort it all out for her.”
“I guess she doesn’t have ‘people’ anymore.” And that was another mystery. What had happened to make her return?
“Good. She deserves to have to come and face us and sort out all that crap.”
“As I said, I’m quite looking forward to hearing her side of the story.”
Lauren wagged a finger under his nose. “You keep away from her. She’s trouble.”
Rob could only nod, knowing he’d already gone too far along that particular road to ever find the courage to turn back. All he could do was go forward, sort out his personal shit, and hope Ally did the same.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Lauren.”
“Sure. Now let me start on lunch.” She paused and brandished an onion at him. “Do you want a sandwich?”
He declined and headed back to the station. Ever since their parents had retired to Florida, she’d tried to feed him and take care of him, and she was younger than him. Did everyone think he needed to be babied because of what had happened between him and Ally? It was an interesting thought and one of many Ally’s return had stirred in his brain.
Rob took out the flyer Lauren had given him and approached Jeff Stevens, who was manning the desk. “On your way home, can you do me a favor and stick this in the Kendals’ mailbox near your street?”
Jeff didn’t bother to look up but held out his hand. “Sure.”
Luckily Jeff was new to the area and had no idea of the past scandal, which suited Rob just fine. “Thanks.”
Rob returned to his office and shut the door. He sighed as he viewed the pile of paperwork cluttering up his inbox. So much for the computer age; he was still stuck in paper world. He considered the problem with Ally’s truck and wondered exactly how Jackson had left it.
Tomorrow evening, he’d take a trip by Ally’s house and see how things were. His body stirred at the thought of seeing her again, even as he tried to suppress it. She had already reeled him in without even trying, and he was determined not to be caught out. But this time he’d be trying damned hard not to direct their relationship. It was way past time for some honest conversation.