FIFTY
The sky, stared at long enough, seemed to turn from
grey to palest blue. And the silence, once the ears had adjusted,
gave way to tiny stirrings of wind and the distant cawing of crows
somewhere in the forest. Only the gnawing chill of the air above
and the snow beneath stirred Eusden from his reverie, which could
have lasted several seconds or many minutes – he had no way of
knowing. When he tried to sit up, the pain in his right side was
sharp and deep. Blood had soaked through his jacket. He could not
tell how serious this second wound was. But he was certainly alive.
At least, he thought he was.
He propped himself up on his elbows and saw Tolmar
Aksden’s body lying a few feet away, the rifle across his chest,
one hand still clutching the butt. His expression was a frozen
mixture of anger and surprise. There was a sickeningly neat
bullet-hole above his left eyebrow and blood on the snow behind his
head.
Eusden felt weak, light-headed and curiously
contented. Nothing he saw or felt was entirely real to him. He
assumed this was some kind of trick being played on him by his
brain, a defence mechanism designed to ease the onset of death. It
did not dull the pain he was in, but somehow divorced it from him,
as if he was watching himself from a place of warmth and safety and
disinterested ease. It made the idea of lying back down and
continuing to stare at the sky very appealing.
‘Don’t lie down, Coningsby,’ said
Marty.
The voice seemed to come from behind him. When he
turned his head, there was no one there. Yet he had the sense that
someone had been. It was like the quivering of a leaf after a
creature has fled into undergrowth: a sign without a
sighting.
‘This is all your fault,’ Eusden said aloud. ‘You
know that, Marty, don’t you?’ There was no rancour in his tone. It
was more in the way of a friendly reproach. ‘Thanks for landing me
in it. One last time.’
‘Don’t lie down, Coningsby.’
‘What do you expect me to do?’
‘Deliver a touching eulogy at my
funeral.’
‘And for that I need to be there, of course.’
‘It’s customary.’
‘Yeah. So it is.’
Eusden tried to sit up. There was a jab of pain in
his side. The bullet had probably smashed a rib. What other damage
it might have done he did not care to consider. Certainly standing
up did not seem to be an option. He could not phone for help. He
was closer to the jammer now than when he had failed to get a
signal on the veranda. Theoretically, he could drive to where help
might be found if he could make it to the Bentley. He had the key
in his pocket. But theory was a long way from practice. Moving
presented itself to his mind as a task best deferred, while another
part of his mind insisted that deferral would be fatal.
He straightened his arms. It was like plunging into
an ice-cold bath. He began to shiver and noticed the sheet of paper
with the fingerprints on it lying close to his hand, beside the
fallen gun. There they were: the unique traces of a human’s
existence on this planet. A.N. Anastasia Nikolaievna. Or
Alexei Nikolaievich. ‘Or A.N. bloody Other, Clem, eh?’
‘You’ve been checking up on me, boy? Well, we’ll
make a detective of you yet.’
‘Seems you’ve succeeded. Much good that it’s done
me.’
Eusden remembered asking Clem once how he had
survived four years in the trenches without being killed or
injured. And now he heard again the answer the old man had given
him. ‘You had to think ahead to survive, boy. If you didn’t, you
were finished.’ (Pause for puff on pipe.) ‘’Course, if you
thought too far ahead, you were finished as well.’ (Another
puff.) ‘I used to reckon five minutes was just about
right.’
‘Five minutes? OK, Clem. I’ll try it.’ Eusden
grabbed the sheet of paper, folded it as best he could and thrust
it into his trouser pocket. The gun he left where it was. He rolled
on to his hip and began to work his way towards the Bentley, sawing
at the snow with his functioning leg. His shivering became a wild
juddering, his breathing a panting wheeze. Pain ballooned inside
him. But he did not stop. He felt suddenly and preposterously hot.
Sweat started out of him. But still he did not stop.
He reached the car and rewarded himself with a few
moments’ rest. The pain ebbed. Then he stretched up to open the
door. He managed to do so by about an inch. Pulling it fully open
seemed impossible. It felt immensely heavy. He pressed himself
close to the side of the car, forced his arm inside the door and
pushed with all his failing strength. It was just enough.
An unmeasurable segment of time passed while he
rested his chin on the soft leather of the driver’s seat and
contemplated, as if it were some abstruse problem he had no
personal stake in, the difficulty of levering himself into the car.
In the end, no easy answer presented itself. He counted down from
ten to one and, after two false starts, simply hauled himself in,
gripping the steering-wheel like grim death, an expression he felt
in a moment of startling clarity he fully understood for the first
time.
He lifted his injured leg in after him, and then
nearly fell back out of the car as he pulled the door shut. The
warmth that had built up during the drive from Helsinki folded
itself round him like a duvet. It would have been easy, so very
easy, to surrender to it and fall asleep. But he knew, if he did,
he would never wake. He pushed the key into the ignition and turned
it. The engine responded with well-tuned vigour. He shifted the
stick into drive and eased down the accelerator. The car started
moving. He steered it in a slow, wide circle past the body of Arto
Falenius, out over the meadow and back on to the track they had
arrived by. Every ridge of compacted snow, every minor undulation,
sent pain stabbing through his body. But the Bentley rolled softly
with the bumps. He knew it could be a great deal worse. And he
began to think that he really was going to get through this. He
drove slowly along the track, away from the mökki and the
bodies lying nearby, into the forest, towards the main road – and
survival.
The Bentley essentially drove itself. All Eusden
had to do was steer it. His concentration began to falter, his
vision to blur. He wondered if dusk was setting in. There was a
vagueness to the world beyond the windscreen, a fuzzying at the
edges of his vision. The track wound ahead through the snow-stacked
trees. He kept his foot on the accelerator, his hands on the wheel.
He just needed to keep going. He just—
There was a jolt, a violent lurch. Suddenly, the
Bentley was heading down a short slope straight into a mass of
trees. He must have mistaken the line of the track somehow. He
stamped down on the brake. The car skidded and slewed to the left.
But there were as many trees waiting there as dead ahead. And the
car slammed straight into one.
Eusden had forgotten to fasten his seat belt. It
was far from a high-speed impact, but still he was thrown against
the wheel, setting the horn blaring. He lay across it, watched with
detached curiosity the steam rising from the crumpled radiator and
the shower of snow and pine needles pattering down on to the
bonnet.
Eventually, he pushed himself back into the seat.
The horn fell silent. All the breath seemed to have been knocked
out of him. He found it difficult to organize his thoughts into
initiating any kind of action at all. He wondered how much blood he
had lost. And how much more he could afford to lose. Then he
stopped wondering. He would find out soon enough, after all. Until
then . . .
He forced himself to focus. He engaged reverse and
pressed down the accelerator. The tyres spun, but did not grip. The
Bentley was going nowhere. And neither was Eusden. He turned off
the engine.
Tranquillity descended. And a shaft of sunlight,
the first he had seen in Finland, turned the surrounding curtain of
snow from greyish white to granular pink. He sat back and savoured
the beauty of it. The forest felt holy in that instant. And he
would be warm inside the car for a while yet. He could always turn
the engine back on.
‘I’m offering you the chance to change your life,’
Pernille had said to him on the ferry from Sweden. Eusden smiled
gently at what struck him now less as a tragedy than an irony. If
only they had known. In truth, neither of them had had any future
to shape or alter. They had both been voyaging to their
deaths.
‘Pull yourself together, Coningsby. You
should’ve let me drive. I was always better than you. Now, for
God’s sake phone for help and get us out of the mess you’ve got us
into.’
Eusden did not bother to point out that the jammer
had travelled with them. There would still be no signal. Even if it
had been conveniently knocked off, the closely packed trees would
probably do as good a job. He pulled Lund’s phone out of his pocket
and pressed the green button. It was as he had expected. No signal.
‘Sorry, Marty,’ he murmured.
It was a relief in some ways. There was nothing
more he could do now. He could stop struggling. He did not need to
think, even five minutes ahead. He closed his eyes. And the
darkness received him like a loyal friend.