Chapter 31

Graduation day was a turning point in my life. My entire family showed up to support me, and Boss was front and center. He was so proud of me. Finally, I felt like all the hard work was starting to pay off. When the principal got in front of the entire student body and called my name, I felt this incredible rush of pride; it was like I could do anything. The nerves didn’t hit me until it was time to give my Valedictorian speech. Standing up on that stage in front of all those people was paralyzing; I almost started to doubt all the progress I’d made in my fifth period Public Speaking class. My teacher, Ms. Harris, told me I was ready, but as I looked around, Ms. Harris was nowhere to be found. That’s when I began my frantic search. Boss was the only person who could get me through. When I looked out over the sea of judgmental faces, his stood out like a beacon of light. He just smiled at me and gave me the Boss nod, and I knew everything was going to work out fine. It always did with us.

After my speech, Boss took everybody out to dinner to celebrate. We waited a while for Pee-Wee, but he never showed. That wasn't like him; he usually never missed a family event. Boss knew something wasn’t right, so he called his cousin’s cell a dozen times - but got no answer. He even called some chick named Sabrina's house, who apparently had been sleeping with Pee-Wee for some time; no luck there either. She told Boss she hadn’t heard from him in two days, and that wasn’t like the sex junkie she knew. All I had to do was look at Boss to know what he was thinking. The satisfied smile he wore earlier that day was gone; he was preparing himself for the worst.

We were walking out of the restaurant when he got the call: Pee-Wee had been shot seven times and was in critical condition. We rushed to the hospital to be at his side, the same way he was always at ours.

Pee-Wee had so many tubes and wires connected to his body that it was downright shocking. Boss could barely stand, so I stood beside him while he sat in a chair beside his cousin. It was all I could do. This problem couldn’t be ignored. I couldn’t just sweep it under the rug and pretend it wasn’t there. Pee-Wee wasn’t just some chick with a grudge; I knew that if Boss lost him, he’d be losing so much more than a cousin or an employee: he’d be losing a large part of who he was. I hoped and prayed for the best, but I feared the worst. I asked God to please spare my husband andho husbands lieutenant and most trusted friend. Boss had already lost so many people close to him, I didn’t know if he could take another loss - especially one that big. Pee-Wee had been there for him for most of his life, and he was the one person Boss trusted with both my life and Malaysia’s.

“How can a nigga that big look so fuckin’ helpless?” Boss questioned aloud. “He supposed to be fightin’ - but the nigga just looks like he sleepin’.”

“Baby, he’ll be okay.” I tried to comfort him by rubbing his knotted shoulders. “You have to believe that. Pee-Wee’s strong. He’ll get through this.”

On the outside, I was being as strong as possible for Boss’ benefit, but inside I was still begging God to let him survive. I had to do it. My husband needed me. There were so many times before when he was the one being strong for me. It was the very least I could do.

“Meesh, I know I don’t tell you this enough, baby.” He took his eyes off his ailing cousin and placed them lovingly on me. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” My eyes filled instantly with what felt like a million tears.

“I don’t know what I would do without you.” He gripped both of my arms in his big hands like he was never going to let them go.

“You’ll never have to find that out,” I promised my husband, cradling his aching head in my trembling hands. “Baby, I swear you won’t.”

We stayed the entire night at the hospital. Boss didn’t want to leave Pee-Wee, and I wasn’t about to leave him. Mama had Malaysia, so that was one thing I didn’t have to stress about. I didn’t like being away from my daughter at night, but I did what I had to do to in order to support my husband and our family. Pee-Wee was a very important part of that family, so whatever he needed, he would get.

The next few days were hectic. We took shifts at Pee-Wee’s bedside. One of us would go home to shower and change clothes while the other stayed and made sure nothing went wrong. The doctor told us that we should talk to Pee-Wee, so that’s exactly what we did. When Boss would leave to go home and change, I’d pull the chair up right beside his bed and read him freaky stories. I could have sworn that one day while I was reading him “The Sex Chronicles” by Zane he moved his hand. From then on out, I gathered up every freaky story I could find and read to him constantly. He wasn’t the only one who got something out of it; Boss also grew to love freaky story time.

It was a long and difficult few weeks, but Pee-Wee finally opened his eyes. His docn>Iyes. Hitor examined him and told us that he would eventually make a full recovery. He was very weak. They’d loaded him up with painkillers, but it was obvious to me that he was still hurting. Boss, though, was too happy to notice. He didn’t normally show a lot of emotion, but that day was special: that day I got to watch my husband smile, laugh, and joke with the cousin he’d come so close to losing. That day was special. I filed it away in my memory bank and vowed never to forget it.

Six days after Pee-Wee woke up, he was moved out of ICU and into a regular hospital room. I filled that room with beautiful flower bouquets and colorful balloon clusters. Boss brought him a brand new iPod Touch, which I filled with every single 2-Pac song I could find; he was Pee-Wee and Boss’ favorite rapper of all time. Some believe that music is therapy, and that must have had some truth to it because a few days later we were told we could take the big man home. I insisted that he come and stay with us, and I wasn’t taking no for an answer.

I had one of the guest rooms all fixed up and ready for Pee-Wee’s arrival. He had a king-size bed, a 42’ plasma TV, a Blu-ray player with surround sound, his own phone line, and a private luxury bathroom with a very deep, very relaxing Jacuzzi tub. Boss even hired a private nurse to tend to his every need. I didn’t need to know what all that entailed, but I had my suspicions. In addition to the six trained guard dogs, Boss brought in five private security guards. I thought it was overkill, but I only saw what he let me. I knew his business was dangerous. I also knew that he worked hard to keep that danger away from me and from Malaysia. With Pee-Wee down, he would have to overcompensate. The guards didn’t bother me. As long as we were all safe, I was good.