Chapter 34

“Where ya’ll goin’ tonight?” Boss questioned me and Kylee as soon as he saw the way we were dressed. “You tryin’ to catch something, Meesh?”

He didn’t approve of the sexy little low-cut Emilio Pucci dress I was wearing, and the look on his face blew that book wide open; too bad I didn’t care. I ignored him and his little disapproving look. That night wasn’t about Boss. It wasn’t even about our daughters. It was about my girl knowing that I needed to get away for a few hours and making it happen. Kylee didn’t give a fuck; she wasn’t about to leave that house without me.

“We goin’ to Elite,” I told him while doing my best Beyoncé booty bounce. “Nelly’s holdin’ auditions tonight for his new video.” My joke didn’t go over too well; Boss and Pee-Wee looked at us like we were crazy. Kylee couldn’t hold a straight face for shit, and she laughed so hard, it spread to me - bu anan>here it ended.

“I’m glad ya’ll think ya’ll funny.” My husband just shook his head from side to side like we made no sense to him whatsoever. “You need to go and find the rest of that dress...why you up in here tryin’ to be Sommore?”

Sommore was my favorite female comedian. Monique wasn’t far behind. I watched their comedy shows all the time. Laughing was the only way I could keep from crying. I knew that once I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop. Tonight, the club was having their generic version of Queens of Comedy. I knew there wouldn’t be any Sommores or Moniques, but I hoped I could at least get a few laughs out of it. So, I put my makeup on to cover my war wounds and headed out in search of a temporary fix for my permanent problems.

“I know you ain’t tryin’ to catch nothin’?” Pee-Wee asked Kylee as his eyes inspected her skin-tight jeans and low-cut blouse.

“Baby, I already caught what I was fishin’ for,” she said, then sealed it with a kiss tossed in his direction. “I already got my Big Daddy.”

Pee-Wee laughed. He was just a big ol’ teddy bear when it came to Kylee. He treated her with the utmost respect; they never fought. Our relationships couldn’t have been more different. Boss and I were fighting all the time. If we weren’t fighting, we were fucking – and that was the only time we seemed to get along...that, and when we were sleeping.

“I need some weed.” I put my hand out in front of Boss like I was his daughter waiting for my allowance. “Either give it to me, or I’ma drive down to the hood and get some myself.”

I knew exactly how to work him. Being nice got me nowhere; he liked bitches, so a bitch I became. When I was nice and sweet, he couldn’t see me - but when I was in Boss Bitch mode, his eyes were wide open.

“Look in the safe in the den.” Boss gave in reluctantly. “You know the combo.”

I turned and headed down the hall, wearing a look of victory on my face. I wasn't really a weed smoker. Not like Boss. It was more about him giving in to me, even if it were something so small. Portraits of Bob Marley, Eazy-E, 2-Pac, and Biggie lined the walls of Boss’ den. I removed the one of Pac and paused for a moment to recall the combination. It started with twenty-one (of course), then ended with Malaysia and Mariah’s dates of birth. Inside,,n> there were several large stacks of cash, some important papers and documents, and a large brick of marijuana, which was not to be sold. It was Boss’ private smoking stash; that nigga stayed blowed.

When I came back into the room, the vibe was different; something didn’t feel right. Even Kylee looked upset, and that wasn’t like her. Nobody wanted to look at me...I felt another storm brewing.

“What’s wrong with ya’ll?” I asked, even though I was afraid to hear the answer. “Who died?”

“Meesh, yo moms just called.” Boss looked at me like he knew he was about to wreck my world. “Angie’s in the hospital.” He eased in as gently as he could. “Baby, she got raped.”

I couldn’t even respond. So many things began to race through my mind. My little sister is only nine years old. What kind of monster would prey on a child like that? How could anyone look at a baby and see anything sexual? How could life be that cruel to one family? I had to get to the hospital. Mama was going to need me there with her. She was going to need both me and Boss now more than ever.

Pee-Wee and Kylee offered to stay home with the girls while Boss and I rushed to the hospital. I didn’t say a word in the truck; I was too busy crying. Angie was my little girl way before I had Malaysia or Mariah. I found myself wondering if this would have happened if I were still living at home. Then my mind went somewhere much darker: I thought about my tiny little sister being violated while she cried out for her family to save her. I couldn’t even remember why Boss and I had been fighting so much lately. My husband took good care of me, and he kept me safe. What if the next man didn't? No one could love Malaysia and Mariah the way their father did. What if no one loved me like Boss did either? I made myself promise right then and there to give it one last try. No more games. No more bullshitting. Life was too short.

“Mama, what happened?” I asked my mother as I sat down next to her in the waiting room.

“I don’t know.” She looked over at me with the blankest stare on her face. “Angie asked me if she could walk to the store with her friend Britney. I said no, but she kept on askin’. The boys was sayin’ I been too overprotective since Anthony got killed. They said I need to let them have some fun sometimes. I felt bad, so I said yes.” She closed her eyes and took a moment to calm her nerves. “Angie wanted an ice cream, so I gave her some money. Meesha, she was only gone for ten minutes.”

“How is she?” I asked, even though I was afraid to hear the answer. “Is she...is she...”

“She’s asleep.” Mama put me out of my misery. “The doctor gave her a sedative. Her beautiful face is all messed up. As if rapin’ her wasn’t bad enough - he had to beat her up, too.” Her sadness started to turn into anger. “I shoulda never let her go to the store by herself.”

“Mama, it’s not yo fault.” I put my arms around my mother and tried my damndest to comfort her. “We’ll get through this,” my tears flowed once again, “just like we’ve gotten through everything else.”

“They know who did it?” Boss began to plot taking the law into his own hands. I remembered what he did after Anthony was murdered. I remembered what he did for me. When I asked him to punish my brother’s killer, he didn’t think twice. This time was different; this time, we had two daughters at home who needed both parents. Even so, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop him.

“Ashley said it was some man who used to live around here.” Mama searched her memory high and low. “Ren, I think.”

Boss looked like he’d seen a ghost. I didn’t know Ren, but by the look on my husband’s face he was one dirty muthafucka; my little sister’s current condition was further proof of that. I cried like a baby the first time I saw her, and I didn’t do much better the second or the third. Her pretty little face was twice its normal size, and the cuts and bruises looked evil. I changed my mind about Boss. If he wanted to find that muthafucka and make him pay, not only would I support him, I’d also be grateful to him. They say that time heals all wounds, but I didn’t see it healing this one. My sister was forever changed that day. Gone was the fun loving little girl who loved to jump rope and go to the skating rink with her friends...she was replaced with a scared, quiet soul who didn’t trust anyone but Mama. She never left her side. My little sister was now a hood statistic - and just like so many other young girls in the ghetto, she’d lost her innocence far too early.