CHAPTER XX.

As the Miss Dashwoods entered the
drawing-room of the Park the next day, at one door, Mrs. Palmer
came running in at the other, looking as good humoured and merry as
before. She took them all most affectionately by the hand, and
expressed great delight in seeing them again.
“I am so glad to see you!” said she, seating
herself between Elinor and Marianne; “for it is so bad a day I was
afraid you might not come, which would be a shocking thing, as we
go away again to-morrow. We must go, for the Westons come to us
next week, you know. It was quite a sudden thing our coming at all;
and I knew nothing of it till the carriage was coming to the door,
and then Mr. Palmer asked me if I would go with him to Barton. He
is so droll! He never tells me any thing! I am so sorry we cannot
stay longer; however we shall meet again in town very soon, I
hope.”
They were obliged to put an end to such an
expectation.
“Not go to town!” cried Mrs. Palmer, with a laugh;
“I shall be quite disappointed if you do not. I could get the
nicest house in the world for you, next door to ours in Hanover
Square. You must come, indeed. I am sure I shall be very happy to
chaperon you at any time till I am confined, if Mrs. Dashwood
should not like to go into public.”
They thanked her; but were obliged to resist all
her entreaties.
“Oh, my love,” cried Mrs. Palmer to her husband,
who just then entered the room, “you must help me to persuade the
Miss Dashwoods to go to town this winter.”
Her love made no answer; and after slightly bowing
to the ladies, began complaining of the weather.
“How horrid all this is!” said he. “Such weather
makes every thing and every body disgusting. Dulness is as much
produced within doors as without, by rain. It makes one detest all
one’s acquaintance. What the devil does Sir John mean by not having
a billiard room in his house? How few people know what comfort is!
Sir John is as stupid as the weather.”
The rest of the company soon dropt in.
“I am afraid, Miss Marianne,” said Sir John, “you
have not been able to take your usual walk to Allenham
to-day.”
Marianne looked very grave, and said nothing.
“Oh, don’t be so sly before us,” said Mrs. Palmer;
“for we know all about it, I assure you; and I admire your taste
very much, for I think he is extremely handsome. We do not live a
great way from him in the country, you know. Not above ten miles, I
dare say.”
“Much nearer thirty,” said her husband.
“Ah, well! there is not much difference. I never
was at his house; but they say it is a sweet pretty place.”
“As vile a spot as I ever saw in my life,” said Mr.
Palmer.
Marianne remained perfectly silent, though her
countenance betrayed her interest in what was said.
“Is it very ugly?” continued Mrs. Palmer—“then it
must be some other place that is so pretty, I suppose.”
When they were seated in the dining-room, Sir John
observed with regret that they were only eight all together.
“My dear,” said he to his lady, “it is very
provoking that we should be so few. Why did not you ask the
Gilberts to come to us to-day?”
“Did not I tell you, Sir John, when you spoke to me
about it before, that it could not be done? They dined with us
last.”
“You and I, Sir John,” said Mrs. Jennings, “should
not stand upon such ceremony.”
“Then you would be very ill-bred,” cried Mr.
Palmer.
“My love, you contradict every body,” said his wife
with her usual laugh. “Do you know that you are quite rude?”
“I did not know I contradicted any body in calling
your mother ill-bred.”
“Ay, you may abuse me as you please,” said the
good-natured old lady; “you have taken Charlotte off my hands, and
cannot give her back again. So there I have the whip hand of
you.”
Charlotte laughed heartily to think that her
husband could not get rid of her; and exultingly said, she did not
care how cross he was to her, as they must live together. It was
impossible for any one to be more thoroughly good-natured, or more
determined to be happy, than Mrs. Palmer. The studied indifference,
insolence, and discontent of her husband gave her no pain; and when
he scolded or abused her, she was highly diverted.
“Mr. Palmer is so droll!” said she, in a whisper,
to Elinor. “He is always out of humour.”
Elinor was not inclined, after a little
observation, to give him credit for being so genuinely and
unaffectedly ill-natured or ill-bred as he wished to appear. His
temper might perhaps be a little soured by finding, like many
others of his sex, that through some unaccountable bias in favour
of beauty, he was the husband of a very silly woman,—but she knew
that this kind of blunder was too common for any sensible man to be
lastingly hurt by it. It was rather a wish of distinction, she
believed, which produced his contemptuous treatment of every body,
and his general abuse of every thing before him. It was the desire
of appearing superior to other people. The motive was too common to
be wondered at; but the means, however they might succeed by
establishing his superiority in ill-breeding, were not likely to
attach any one to him except his wife.
“Oh, my dear Miss Dashwood,” said Mrs. Palmer soon
afterwards, “I have got such a favour to ask of you and your
sister. Will you come and spend some time at Cleveland this
Christmas? Now, pray do,—and come while the Westons are with us.
You cannot think how happy I shall be! It will be quite delightful!
—My love,” applying to her husband, “don’t you long to have the
Miss Dashwoods come to Cleveland?”
“Certainly,” he replied, with a sneer; “I came into
Devonshire with no other view.”
“There now,” said his lady, “you see Mr. Palmer
expects you; so you cannot refuse to come.”
They both eagerly and resolutely declined her
invitation.
“But indeed you must and shall come. I am sure you
will like it of all things. The Westons will be with us, and it
will be quite delightful. You cannot think what a sweet place
Cleveland is; and we are so gay now, for Mr. Palmer is always going
about the country canvassing against the election;l and so
many people come to dine with us that I never saw before, it is
quite charming! But, poor fellow! it is very fatiguing to him, for
he is forced to make every body like him.”
Elinor could hardly keep her countenance as she
assented to the hardship of such an obligation.
“How charming it will be,” said Charlotte, “when he
is in Parliament!—won’t it? How I shall laugh! It will be so
ridiculous to see all his letters directed to him with an M.P.—But
do you know, he says, he will never frank for me?14 He
declares he won’t. Don’t you, Mr. Palmer?”
Mr. Palmer took no notice of her.
“He cannot bear writing, you know,” she continued;
“he says it is quite shocking.”
“No,” said he, “I never said any thing so
irrational. Don’t palm all your abuses of language upon me.”
“There now; you see how droll he is. This is always
the way with him! Sometimes he won’t speak to me for half a day
together, and then he comes out with something so droll—all about
any thing in the world.”
She surprised Elinor very much as they returned
into the drawing-room, by asking her whether she did not like Mr.
Palmer excessively.
“Certainly,” said Elinor; “he seems very
agreeable.”
“Well, I am so glad you do. I thought you would, he
is so pleasant; and Mr. Palmer is excessively pleased with you and
your sisters, I can tell you; and you can’t think how disappointed
he will be if you don’t come to Cleveland. I can’t imagine why you
should object to it.”
Elinor was again obliged to decline her invitation;
and, by changing the subject, put a stop to her entreaties. She
thought it probable that as they lived in the same county Mrs.
Palmer might be able to give some more particular account of
Willoughby’s general character than could be gathered from the
Middletons’ partial acquaintance with him; and she was eager to
gain from any one such a confirmation of his merits as might remove
the possibility of fear from Marianne. She began by enquiring if
they saw much of Mr. Willoughby at Cleveland, and whether they were
intimately acquainted with him.
“Oh dear, yes; I know him extremely well,” replied
Mrs. Palmer; —“not that I ever spoke to him, indeed; but I have
seen him for ever in town. Some how or other I never happened to be
staying at Barton while he was at Allenham. Mamma saw him here once
before; but I was with my uncle at Weymouth. However, I dare say we
should have seen a great deal of him in Somersetshire, if it had
not happened very unluckily that we should never have been in the
country together. He is very little at Combe, I believe; but if he
were ever so much there, I do not think Mr. Palmer would visit him,
for he is in the opposition, you know, and besides it is such a way
off. I know why you enquire about him, very well; your sister is to
marry him. I am monstrous glad of it, for then I shall have her for
a neighbour, you know.”
“Upon my word,” replied Elinor, “you know much more
of the matter than I do, if you have any reason to expect such a
match.”
“Don’t pretend to deny it, because you know it is
what every body talks of. I assure you I heard of it in my way
through town.”
“My dear Mrs. Palmer!”
“Upon my honour I did. I met Colonel Brandon Monday
morning in Bond Street, just before we left town, and he told me of
it directly.”
“You surprise me very much. Colonel Brandon tell
you of it! Surely you must be mistaken. To give such intelligence
to a person who could not be interested in it, even if it were
true, is not what I should expect Colonel Brandon to do.”
“But I do assure you it was so, for all that, and I
will tell you how it happened. When we met him, he turned back and
walked with us; and so we began talking of my brother and sister,
and one thing and another, and I said to him, ‘So, Colonel, there
is a new family come to Barton cottage, I hear, and mamma sends me
word they are very pretty, and that one of them is going to be
married to Mr. Willoughby of Combe Magna. Is it true, pray? for of
course you must know, as you have been in Devonshire so lately.’
”
“And what did the Colonel say?”
“Oh, he did not say much; but he looked as if he
knew it to be true, so from that moment I set it down as certain.
It will be quite delightful, I declare. When is it to take
place?”
“Mr. Brandon was very well, I hope?”
“Oh, yes, quite well; and so full of your praises,
he did nothing but say fine things of you.”
“I am flattered by his commendation. He seems an
excellent man; and I think him uncommonly pleasing.”
“So do I. He is such a charming man, that it is
quite a pity he should be so grave and so dull. Mamma says
he was in love with your sister too. I assure you it was a
great compliment if he was, for he hardly ever falls in love with
any body.”
“Is Mr. Willoughby much known in your part of
Somersetshire?” said Elinor.
“Oh, yes, extremely well; that is, I do not believe
many people are acquainted with him, because Combe Magna is so far
off; but they all think him extremely agreeable, I assure you.
Nobody is more liked than Mr. Willoughby wherever he goes, and so
you may well tell your sister. She is a monstrous lucky girl to get
him, upon my honour; not but that he is much more lucky in getting
her, because she is so very handsome and agreeable, that nothing
can be good enough for her. However, I don’t think her hardly at
all handsomer than you, I assure you; for I think you both
excessively pretty, and so does Mr. Palmer too, I am sure, though
we could not get him to own it last night.”
Mrs. Palmer’s information respecting Willoughby was
not very material; but any testimony in his favour, however small,
was pleasing to her.
“I am so glad we are got acquainted at last,”
continued Charlotte. “And now I hope we shall always be great
friends. You can’t think how much I longed to see you. It is so
delightful that you should live at the cottage. Nothing can be like
it, to be sure. And I am so glad your sister is going to be well
married. I hope you will be a great deal at Combe Magna. It is a
sweet place, by all accounts.”
“You have been long acquainted with Colonel
Brandon, have not you?”
“Yes, a great while; ever since my sister married.
He was a particular friend of Sir John’s. I believe,” she added, in
a low voice, “he would have been very glad to have had me, if he
could. Sir John and Lady Middleton wished it very much. But mamma
did not think the match good enough for me, otherwise Sir John
would have mentioned it to the Colonel, and we should have been
married immediately.”
“Did not Colonel Brandon know of Sir John’s
proposal to your mother before it was made? Had he never owned his
affection to yourself?”
“Oh, no; but if mamma had not objected to it, I
dare say he would have liked it of all things. He had not seen me
then above twice, for it was before I left school. However, I am
much happier as I am. Mr. Palmer is just the kind of man I
like.”