VII. The Guest
When Phoebe awoke,—which she did with the early twittering of the
conjugal couple of robins in the pear-tree,—she heard movements
below stairs, and, hastening down, found Hepzibah already in the
kitchen. She stood by a window, holding a book in close contiguity
to her nose, as if with the hope of gaining an olfactory
acquaintance with its contents, since her imperfect vision made it
not very easy to read them. If any volume could have manifested its
essential wisdom in the mode suggested, it would certainly have
been the one now in Hepzibah's hand; and the kitchen, in such an
event, would forthwith have streamed with the fragrance of venison,
turkeys, capons, larded partridges, puddings, cakes, and Christmas
pies, in all manner of elaborate mixture and concoction. It was a
cookery book, full of innumerable old fashions of English dishes,
and illustrated with engravings, which represented the arrangements
of the table at such banquets as it might have befitted a nobleman
to give in the great hall of his castle. And, amid these rich and
potent devices of the culinary art (not one of which, probably, had
been tested, within the memory of any man's grandfather), poor
Hepzibah was seeking for some nimble little titbit, which, with
what skill she had, and such materials as were at hand, she might
toss up for breakfast. Soon, with a deep sigh, she put aside the
savory volume, and inquired of Phoebe whether old Speckle, as she
called one of the hens, had laid an egg the preceding day. Phoebe
ran to see, but returned without the expected treasure in her hand.
At that instant, however, the blast of a fish-dealer's conch was
heard, announcing his approach along the street. With energetic
raps at the shop-window, Hepzibah summoned the man in, and made
purchase of what he warranted as the finest mackerel in his cart,
and as fat a one as ever he felt with his finger so early in the
season. Requesting Phoebe to roast some coffee,—which she casually
observed was the real Mocha, and so long kept that each of the
small berries ought to be worth its weight in gold,—the maiden lady
heaped fuel into the vast receptacle of the ancient fireplace in
such quantity as soon to drive the lingering dusk out of the
kitchen. The country-girl, willing to give her utmost assistance,
proposed to make an Indian cake, after her mother's peculiar
method, of easy manufacture, and which she could vouch for as
possessing a richness, and, if rightly prepared, a delicacy,
unequalled by any other mode of breakfast-cake. Hepzibah gladly
assenting, the kitchen was soon the scene of savory preparation.
Perchance, amid their proper element of smoke, which eddied forth
from the ill-constructed chimney, the ghosts of departed cook-maids
looked wonderingly on, or peeped down the great breadth of the
flue, despising the simplicity of the projected meal, yet
ineffectually pining to thrust their shadowy hands into each
inchoate dish. The half-starved rats, at any rate, stole visibly
out of their hiding-places, and sat on their hind-legs, snuffing
the fumy atmosphere, and wistfully awaiting an opportunity to
nibble. Hepzibah had no natural turn for cookery, and, to say the
truth, had fairly incurred her present meagreness by often choosing
to go without her dinner rather than be attendant on the rotation
of the spit, or ebullition of the pot. Her zeal over the fire,
therefore, was quite an heroic test of sentiment. It was touching,
and positively worthy of tears (if Phoebe, the only spectator,
except the rats and ghosts aforesaid, had not been better employed
than in shedding them), to see her rake out a bed of fresh and
glowing coals, and proceed to broil the mackerel. Her usually pale
cheeks were all ablaze with heat and hurry. She watched the fish
with as much tender care and minuteness of attention as if,—we know
not how to express it otherwise,—as if her own heart were on the
gridiron, and her immortal happiness were involved in its being
done precisely to a turn! Life, within doors, has few pleasanter
prospects than a neatly arranged and well-provisioned
breakfast-table. We come to it freshly, in the dewy youth of the
day, and when our spiritual and sensual elements are in better
accord than at a later period; so that the material delights of the
morning meal are capable of being fully enjoyed, without any very
grievous reproaches, whether gastric or conscientious, for yielding
even a trifle overmuch to the animal department of our nature. The
thoughts, too, that run around the ring of familiar guests have a
piquancy and mirthfulness, and oftentimes a vivid truth, which more
rarely find their way into the elaborate intercourse of dinner.
Hepzibah's small and ancient table, supported on its slender and
graceful legs, and covered with a cloth of the richest damask,
looked worthy to be the scene and centre of one of the cheerfullest
of parties. The vapor of the broiled fish arose like incense from
the shrine of a barbarian idol, while the fragrance of the Mocha
might have gratified the nostrils of a tutelary Lar, or whatever
power has scope over a modern breakfast-table. Phoebe's Indian
cakes were the sweetest offering of all,—in their hue befitting the
rustic altars of the innocent and golden age,—or, so brightly
yellow were they, resembling some of the bread which was changed to
glistening gold when Midas tried to eat it. The butter must not be
forgotten,—butter which Phoebe herself had churned, in her own
rural home, and brought it to her cousin as a propitiatory
gift,—smelling of clover-blossoms, and diffusing the charm of
pastoral scenery through the dark-panelled parlor. All this, with
the quaint gorgeousness of the old china cups and saucers, and the
crested spoons, and a silver cream-jug (Hepzibah's only other
article of plate, and shaped like the rudest porringer), set out a
board at which the stateliest of old Colonel Pyncheon's guests need
not have scorned to take his place. But the Puritan's face scowled
down out of the picture, as if nothing on the table pleased his
appetite. By way of contributing what grace she could, Phoebe
gathered some roses and a few other flowers, possessing either
scent or beauty, and arranged them in a glass pitcher, which,
having long ago lost its handle, was so much the fitter for a
flower-vase. The early sunshine—as fresh as that which peeped into
Eve's bower while she and Adam sat at breakfast there—came
twinkling through the branches of the pear-tree, and fell quite
across the table. All was now ready. There were chairs and plates
for three. A chair and plate for Hepzibah,—the same for Phoebe,—but
what other guest did her cousin look for? Throughout this
preparation there had been a constant tremor in Hepzibah's frame;
an agitation so powerful that Phoebe could see the quivering of her
gaunt shadow, as thrown by the firelight on the kitchen wall, or by
the sunshine on the parlor floor. Its manifestations were so
various, and agreed so little with one another, that the girl knew
not what to make of it. Sometimes it seemed an ecstasy of delight
and happiness. At such moments, Hepzibah would fling out her arms,
and infold Phoebe in them, and kiss her cheek as tenderly as ever
her mother had; she appeared to do so by an inevitable impulse, and
as if her bosom were oppressed with tenderness, of which she must
needs pour out a little, in order to gain breathing-room. The next
moment, without any visible cause for the change, her unwonted joy
shrank back, appalled, as it were, and clothed itself in mourning;
or it ran and hid itself, so to speak, in the dungeon of her heart,
where it had long lain chained, while a cold, spectral sorrow took
the place of the imprisoned joy, that was afraid to be
enfranchised, —a sorrow as black as that was bright. She often
broke into a little, nervous, hysteric laugh, more touching than
any tears could be; and forthwith, as if to try which was the most
touching, a gush of tears would follow; or perhaps the laughter and
tears came both at once, and surrounded our poor Hepzibah, in a
moral sense, with a kind of pale, dim rainbow. Towards Phoebe, as
we have said, she was affectionate, —far tenderer than ever before,
in their brief acquaintance, except for that one kiss on the
preceding night,—yet with a Continually recurring pettishness and
irritability. She would speak sharply to her; then, throwing aside
all the starched reserve of her ordinary manner, ask pardon, and
the next instant renew the just-forgiven injury. At last, when
their mutual labor was all finished, she took Phoebe's hand in her
own trembling one. "Bear with me, my dear child," she cried; "for
truly my heart is full to the brim! Bear with me; for I love you,
Phoebe, though I speak so roughly. Think nothing of it, dearest
child! By and by, I shall be kind, and only kind!" "My dearest
cousin, cannot you tell me what has happened?" asked Phoebe, with a
sunny and tearful sympathy. "What is it that moves you so?" "Hush!
hush! He is coming!" whispered Hepzibah, hastily wiping her eyes.
"Let him see you first, Phoebe; for you are young and rosy, and
cannot help letting a smile break out whether or no. He always
liked bright faces! And mine is old now, and the tears are hardly
dry on it. He never could abide tears. There; draw the curtain a
little, so that the shadow may fall across his side of the table!
But let there be a good deal of sunshine, too; for he never was
fond of gloom, as some people are. He has had but little sunshine
in his life,—poor Clifford, —and, oh, what a black shadow. Poor,
poor Clifford!" Thus murmuring in an undertone, as if speaking
rather to her own heart than to Phoebe, the old gentlewoman stepped
on tiptoe about the room, making such arrangements as suggested
themselves at the crisis. Meanwhile there was a step in the
passage-way, above stairs. Phoebe recognized it as the same which
had passed upward, as through her dream, in the night-time. The
approaching guest, whoever it might be, appeared to pause at the
head of the staircase; he paused twice or thrice in the descent; he
paused again at the foot. Each time, the delay seemed to be without
purpose, but rather from a forgetfulness of the purpose which had
set him in motion, or as if the person's feet came involuntarily to
a stand-still because the motive-power was too feeble to sustain
his progress. Finally, he made a long pause at the threshold of the
parlor. He took hold of the knob of the door; then loosened his
grasp without opening it. Hepzibah, her hands convulsively clasped,
stood gazing at the entrance. "Dear Cousin Hepzibah, pray don't
look so!" said Phoebe, trembling; for her cousin's emotion, and
this mysteriously reluctant step, made her feel as if a ghost were
coming into the room. "You really frighten me! Is something awful
going to happen?" "Hush!" whispered Hepzibah. "Be cheerful!
whatever may happen, be nothing but cheerful!" The final pause at
the threshold proved so long, that Hepzibah, unable to endure the
suspense, rushed forward, threw open the door, and led in the
stranger by the hand. At the first glance, Phoebe saw an elderly
personage, in an old-fashioned dressing-gown of faded damask, and
wearing his gray or almost white hair of an unusual length. It
quite overshadowed his forehead, except when he thrust it back, and
stared vaguely about the room. After a very brief inspection of his
face, it was easy to conceive that his footstep must necessarily be
such an one as that which, slowly and with as indefinite an aim as
a child's first journey across a floor, had just brought him
hitherward. Yet there were no tokens that his physical strength
might not have sufficed for a free and determined gait. It was the
spirit of the man that could not walk. The expression of his
countenance—while, notwithstanding it had the light of reason in it
—seemed to waver, and glimmer, and nearly to die away, and feebly
to recover itself again. It was like a flame which we see twinkling
among half-extinguished embers; we gaze at it more intently than if
it were a positive blaze, gushing vividly upward,—more intently,
but with a certain impatience, as if it ought either to kindle
itself into satisfactory splendor, or be at once extinguished. For
an instant after entering the room, the guest stood still,
retaining Hepzibah's hand instinctively, as a child does that of
the grown person who guides it. He saw Phoebe, however, and caught
an illumination from her youthful and pleasant aspect, which,
indeed, threw a cheerfulness about the parlor, like the circle of
reflected brilliancy around the glass vase of flowers that was
standing in the sunshine. He made a salutation, or, to speak nearer
the truth, an ill-defined, abortive attempt at curtsy. Imperfect as
it was, however, it conveyed an idea, or, at least, gave a hint, of
indescribable grace, such as no practised art of external manners
could have attained. It was too slight to seize upon at the
instant; yet, as recollected afterwards, seemed to transfigure the
whole man. "Dear Clifford," said Hepzibah, in the tone with which
one soothes a wayward infant, "this is our cousin Phoebe,—little
Phoebe Pyncheon,—Arthur's only child, you know. She has come from
the country to stay with us awhile; for our old house has grown to
be very lonely now." "Phoebe—Phoebe Pyncheon?—Phoebe?" repeated the
guest, with a strange, sluggish, ill-defined utterance. "Arthur's
child! Ah, I forget! No matter. She is very welcome!" "Come, dear
Clifford, take this chair," said Hepzibah, leading him to his
place. "Pray, Phoebe, lower the curtain a very little more. Now let
us begin breakfast." The guest seated himself in the place assigned
him, and looked strangely around. He was evidently trying to
grapple with the present scene, and bring it home to his mind with
a more satisfactory distinctness. He desired to be certain, at
least, that he was here, in the low-studded, cross-beamed,
oaken-panelled parlor, and not in some other spot, which had
stereotyped itself into his senses. But the effort was too great to
be sustained with more than a fragmentary success. Continually, as
we may express it, he faded away out of his place; or, in other
words, his mind and consciousness took their departure, leaving his
wasted, gray, and melancholy figure—a substantial emptiness, a
material ghost—to occupy his seat at table. Again, after a blank
moment, there would be a flickering taper-gleam in his eyeballs. It
betokened that his spiritual part had returned, and was doing its
best to kindle the heart's household fire, and light up
intellectual lamps in the dark and ruinous mansion, where it was
doomed to be a forlorn inhabitant. At one of these moments of less
torpid, yet still imperfect animation, Phoebe became convinced of
what she had at first rejected as too extravagant and startling an
idea. She saw that the person before her must have been the
original of the beautiful miniature in her cousin Hepzibah's
possession. Indeed, with a feminine eye for costume, she had at
once identified the damask dressing-gown, which enveloped him, as
the same in figure, material, and fashion, with that so elaborately
represented in the picture. This old, faded garment, with all its
pristine brilliancy extinct, seemed, in some indescribable way, to
translate the wearer's untold misfortune, and make it perceptible
to the beholder's eye. It was the better to be discerned, by this
exterior type, how worn and old were the soul's more immediate
garments; that form and countenance, the beauty and grace of which
had almost transcended the skill of the most exquisite of artists.
It could the more adequately be known that the soul of the man must
have suffered some miserable wrong, from its earthly experience.
There he seemed to sit, with a dim veil of decay and ruin betwixt
him and the world, but through which, at flitting intervals, might
be caught the same expression, so refined, so softly imaginative,
which Malbone—venturing a happy touch, with suspended breath —had
imparted to the miniature! There had been something so innately
characteristic in this look, that all the dusky years, and the
burden of unfit calamity which had fallen upon him, did not suffice
utterly to destroy it. Hepzibah had now poured out a cup of
deliciously fragrant coffee, and presented it to her guest. As his
eyes met hers, he seemed bewildered and disquieted. "Is this you,
Hepzibah?" he murmured sadly. then, more apart, and perhaps
unconscious that he was overheard, "How changed! how changed! And
is she angry with me? Why does she bend her brow so?" Poor
Hepzibah! It was that wretched scowl which time and her
near-sightedness, and the fret of inward discomfort, had rendered
so habitual that any vehemence of mood invariably evoked it. But at
the indistinct murmur of his words her whole face grew tender, and
even lovely, with sorrowful affection; the harshness of her
features disappeared, as it were, behind the warm and misty glow.
"Angry! she repeated; "angry with you, Clifford!" Her tone, as she
uttered the exclamation, had a plaintive and really exquisite
melody thrilling through it, yet without subduing a certain
something which an obtuse auditor might still have mistaken for
asperity. It was as if some transcendent musician should draw a
soul-thrilling sweetness out of a cracked instrument, which makes
its physical imperfection heard in the midst of ethereal
harmony,—so deep was the sensibility that found an organ in
Hepzibah's voice! "There is nothing but love, here, Clifford," she
added,— "nothing but love! You are at home!" The guest responded to
her tone by a smile, which did not half light up his face. Feeble
as it was, however, and gone in a moment, it had a charm of
wonderful beauty. It was followed by a coarser expression; or one
that had the effect of coarseness on the fine mould and outline of
his countenance, because there was nothing intellectual to temper
it. It was a look of appetite. He ate food with what might almost
be termed voracity; and seemed to forget himself, Hepzibah, the
young girl, and everything else around him, in the sensual
enjoyment which the bountifully spread table afforded. In his
natural system, though high-wrought and delicately refined, a
sensibility to the delights of the palate was probably inherent. It
would have been kept in check, however, and even converted into an
accomplishment, and one of the thousand modes of intellectual
culture, had his more ethereal characteristics retained their
vigor. But as it existed now, the effect was painful and made
Phoebe droop her eyes. In a little while the guest became sensible
of the fragrance of the yet untasted coffee. He quaffed it eagerly.
The subtle essence acted on him like a charmed draught, and caused
the opaque substance of his animal being to grow transparent, or,
at least, translucent; so that a spiritual gleam was transmitted
through it, with a clearer lustre than hitherto. "More, more!" he
cried, with nervous haste in his utterance, as if anxious to retain
his grasp of what sought to escape him. "This is what I need! Give
me more!" Under this delicate and powerful influence he sat more
erect, and looked out from his eyes with a glance that took note of
what it rested on. It was not so much that his expression grew more
intellectual; this, though it had its share, was not the most
peculiar effect. Neither was what we call the moral nature so
forcibly awakened as to present itself in remarkable prominence.
But a certain fine temper of being was now not brought out in full
relief, but changeably and imperfectly betrayed, of which it was
the function to deal with all beautiful and enjoyable things. In a
character where it should exist as the chief attribute, it would
bestow on its possessor an exquisite taste, and an enviable
susceptibility of happiness. Beauty would be his life; his
aspirations would all tend toward it; and, allowing his frame and
physical organs to be in consonance, his own developments would
likewise be beautiful. Such a man should have nothing to do with
sorrow; nothing with strife; nothing with the martyrdom which, in
an infinite variety of shapes, awaits those who have the heart, and
will, and conscience, to fight a battle with the world. To these
heroic tempers, such martyrdom is the richest meed in the world's
gift. To the individual before us, it could only be a grief,
intense in due proportion with the severity of the infliction. He
had no right to be a martyr; and, beholding him so fit to be happy
and so feeble for all other purposes, a generous, strong, and noble
spirit would, methinks, have been ready to sacrifice what little
enjoyment it might have planned for itself, —it would have flung
down the hopes, so paltry in its regard,—if thereby the wintry
blasts of our rude sphere might come tempered to such a man. Not to
speak it harshly or scornfully, it seemed Clifford's nature to be a
Sybarite. It was perceptible, even there, in the dark old parlor,
in the inevitable polarity with which his eyes were attracted
towards the quivering play of sunbeams through the shadowy foliage.
It was seen in his appreciating notice of the vase of flowers, the
scent of which he inhaled with a zest almost peculiar to a physical
organization so refined that spiritual ingredients are moulded in
with it. It was betrayed in the unconscious smile with which he
regarded Phoebe, whose fresh and maidenly figure was both sunshine
and flowers,—their essence, in a prettier and more agreeable mode
of manifestation. Not less evident was this love and necessity for
the Beautiful, in the instinctive caution with which, even so soon,
his eyes turned away from his hostess, and wandered to any quarter
rather than come back. It was Hepzibah's misfortune,—not Clifford's
fault. How could he,—so yellow as she was, so wrinkled, so sad of
mien, with that odd uncouthness of a turban on her head, and that
most perverse of scowls contorting her brow,—how could he love to
gaze at her? But, did he owe her no affection for so much as she
had silently given? He owed her nothing. A nature like Clifford's
can contract no debts of that kind. It is—we say it without
censure, nor in diminution of the claim which it indefeasibly
possesses on beings of another mould—it is always selfish in its
essence; and we must give it leave to be so, and heap up our heroic
and disinterested love upon it so much the more, without a
recompense. Poor Hepzibah knew this truth, or, at least, acted on
the instinct of it. So long estranged from what was lovely as
Clifford had been, she rejoiced—rejoiced, though with a present
sigh, and a secret purpose to shed tears in her own chamber that he
had brighter objects now before his eyes than her aged and uncomely
features. They never possessed a charm; and if they had, the canker
of her grief for him would long since have destroyed it. The guest
leaned back in his chair. Mingled in his countenance with a dreamy
delight, there was a troubled look of effort and unrest. He was
seeking to make himself more fully sensible of the scene around
him; or, perhaps, dreading it to be a dream, or a play of
imagination, was vexing the fair moment with a struggle for some
added brilliancy and more durable illusion. "How pleasant!—How
delightful!" he murmured, but not as if addressing any one. "Will
it last? How balmy the atmosphere through that open window! An open
window! How beautiful that play of sunshine! Those flowers, how
very fragrant! That young girl's face, how cheerful, how
blooming!—a flower with the dew on it, and sunbeams in the
dew-drops! Ah! this must be all a dream! A dream! A dream! But it
has quite hidden the four stone walls" Then his face darkened, as
if the shadow of a cavern or a dungeon had come over it; there was
no more light in its expression than might have come through the
iron grates of a prison window-still lessening, too, as if he were
sinking farther into the depths. Phoebe (being of that quickness
and activity of temperament that she seldom long refrained from
taking a part, and generally a good one, in what was going forward)
now felt herself moved to address the stranger. "Here is a new kind
of rose, which I found this morning in the garden," said she,
choosing a small crimson one from among the flowers in the vase.
"There will be but five or six on the bush this season. This is the
most perfect of them all; not a speck of blight or mildew in it.
And how sweet it is!—sweet like no other rose! One can never forget
that scent!" "Ah!—let me see!—let me hold it!" cried the guest,
eagerly seizing the flower, which, by the spell peculiar to
remembered odors, brought innumerable associations along with the
fragrance that it exhaled. "Thank you! This has done me good. I
remember how I used to prize this flower,—long ago, I suppose, very
long ago!—or was it only yesterday? It makes me feel young again!
Am I young? Either this remembrance is singularly distinct, or this
consciousness strangely dim! But how kind of the fair young girl!
Thank you! Thank you!" The favorable excitement derived from this
little crimson rose afforded Clifford the brightest moment which he
enjoyed at the breakfast-table. It might have lasted longer, but
that his eyes happened, soon afterwards, to rest on the face of the
old Puritan, who, out of his dingy frame and lustreless canvas, was
looking down on the scene like a ghost, and a most ill-tempered and
ungenial one. The guest made an impatient gesture of the hand, and
addressed Hepzibah with what might easily be recognized as the
licensed irritability of a petted member of the family.
"Hepzibah!—Hepzibah!" cried he with no little force and
distinctness, "why do you keep that odious picture on the wall?
Yes, yes!—that is precisely your taste! I have told you, a thousand
times, that it was the evil genius of the house!—my evil genius
particularly! Take it down, at once!" "Dear Clifford," said
Hepzibah sadly, "you know it cannot be!" "Then, at all events,"
continued he, still speaking with some energy,"pray cover it with a
crimson curtain, broad enough to hang in folds, and with a golden
border and tassels. I cannot bear it! It must not stare me in the
face!" "Yes, dear Clifford, the picture shall be covered," said
Hepzibah soothingly. "There is a crimson curtain in a trunk above
stairs,—a little faded and moth-eaten, I'm afraid,—but Phoebe and I
will do wonders with it." "This very day, remember" said he; and
then added, in a low, self-communing voice, "Why should we live in
this dismal house at all? Why not go to the South of France?—to
Italy?—Paris, Naples, Venice, Rome? Hepzibah will say we have not
the means. A droll idea that!" He smiled to himself, and threw a
glance of fine sarcastic meaning towards Hepzibah. But the several
moods of feeling, faintly as they were marked, through which he had
passed, occurring in so brief an interval of time, had evidently
wearied the stranger. He was probably accustomed to a sad monotony
of life, not so much flowing in a stream, however sluggish, as
stagnating in a pool around his feet. A slumberous veil diffused
itself over his countenance, and had an effect, morally speaking,
on its naturally delicate and elegant outline, like that which a
brooding mist, with no sunshine in it, throws over the features of
a landscape. He appeared to become grosser,—almost cloddish. If
aught of interest or beauty—even ruined beauty—had heretofore been
visible in this man, the beholder might now begin to doubt it, and
to accuse his own imagination of deluding him with whatever grace
had flickered over that visage, and whatever exquisite lustre had
gleamed in those filmy eyes. Before he had quite sunken away,
however, the sharp and peevish tinkle of the shop-bell made itself
audible. Striking most disagreeably on Clifford's auditory organs
and the characteristic sensibility of his nerves, it caused him to
start upright out of his chair. "Good heavens, Hepzibah! what
horrible disturbance have we now in the house?" cried he, wreaking
his resentful impatience —as a matter of course, and a custom of
old—on the one person in the world that loved him." I have never
heard such a hateful clamor! Why do you permit it? In the name of
all dissonance, what can it be?" It was very remarkable into what
prominent relief—even as if a dim picture should leap suddenly from
its canvas—Clifford's character was thrown by this apparently
trifling annoyance. The secret was, that an individual of his
temper can always be pricked more acutely through his sense of the
beautiful and harmonious than through his heart. It is even
possible—for similar cases have often happened—that if Clifford, in
his foregoing life, had enjoyed the means of cultivating his taste
to its utmost perfectibility, that subtile attribute might, before
this period, have completely eaten out or filed away his
affections. Shall we venture to pronounce, therefore, that his long
and black calamity may not have had a redeeming drop of mercy at
the bottom? "Dear Clifford, I wish I could keep the sound from your
ears," said Hepzibah, patiently, but reddening with a painful
suffusion of shame. "It is very disagreeable even to me. But, do
you know, Clifford, I have something to tell you? This ugly
noise,—pray run, Phoebe, and see who is there!—this naughty little
tinkle is nothing but our shop-bell!" "Shop-bell!" repeated
Clifford, with a bewildered stare. "Yes, our shop-bell," said
Hepzibah, a certain natural dignity, mingled with deep emotion, now
asserting itself in her manner. "For you must know, dearest
Clifford, that we are very poor. And there was no other resource,
but either to accept assistance from a hand that I would push aside
(and so would you!) were it to offer bread when we were dying for
it,—no help, save from him, or else to earn our subsistence with my
own hands! Alone, I might have been content to starve. But you were
to be given back to me! Do you think, then, dear Clifford," added
she, with a wretched smile, "that I have brought an irretrievable
disgrace on the old house, by opening a little shop in the front
gable? Our great-great-grandfather did the same, when there was far
less need! Are you ashamed of me?" "Shame! Disgrace! Do you speak
these words to me, Hepzibah?" said Clifford,—not angrily, however;
for when a man's spirit has been thoroughly crushed, he may be
peevish at small offences, but never resentful of great ones. So he
spoke with only a grieved emotion. "It was not kind to say so,
Hepzibah! What shame can befall me now?" And then the unnerved
man—he that had been born for enjoyment, but had met a doom so very
wretched—burst into a woman's passion of tears. It was but of brief
continuance, however; soon leaving him in a quiescent, and, to
judge by his countenance, not an uncomfortable state. From this
mood, too, he partially rallied for an instant, and looked at
Hepzibah with a smile, the keen, half-derisory purport of which was
a puzzle to her. "Are we so very poor, Hepzibah?" said he. Finally,
his chair being deep and softly cushioned, Clifford fell asleep.
Hearing the more regular rise and fall of his breath (which,
however, even then, instead of being strong and full, had a feeble
kind of tremor, corresponding with the lack of vigor in his
character), —hearing these tokens of settled slumber, Hepzibah
seized the opportunity to peruse his face more attentively than she
had yet dared to do. Her heart melted away in tears; her
profoundest spirit sent forth a moaning voice, low, gentle, but
inexpressibly sad. In this depth of grief and pity she felt that
there was no irreverence in gazing at his altered, aged, faded,
ruined face. But no sooner was she a little relieved than her
conscience smote her for gazing curiously at him, now that he was
so changed; and, turning hastily away, Hepzibah let down the
curtain over the sunny window, and left Clifford to slumber there.