XVI. Clifford's Chamber
Never had the old house appeared so dismal to poor Hepzibah as when
she departed on that wretched errand. There was a strange aspect in
it. As she trode along the foot-worn passages, and opened one crazy
door after another, and ascended the creaking staircase, she gazed
wistfully and fearfully around. It would have been no marvel, to
her excited mind, if, behind or beside her, there had been the
rustle of dead people's garments, or pale visages awaiting her on
the landing-place above. Her nerves were set all ajar by the scene
of passion and terror through which she had just struggled. Her
colloquy with Judge Pyncheon, who so perfectly represented the
person and attributes of the founder of the family, had called back
the dreary past. It weighed upon her heart. Whatever she had heard,
from legendary aunts and grandmothers, concerning the good or evil
fortunes of the Pyncheons,—stories which had heretofore been kept
warm in her remembrance by the chimney-corner glow that was
associated with them,—now recurred to her, sombre, ghastly, cold,
like most passages of family history, when brooded over in
melancholy mood. The whole seemed little else but a series of
calamity, reproducing itself in successive generations, with one
general hue, and varying in little, save the outline. But Hepzibah
now felt as if the Judge, and Clifford, and herself,—they three
together, —were on the point of adding another incident to the
annals of the house, with a bolder relief of wrong and sorrow,
which would cause it to stand out from all the rest. Thus it is
that the grief of the passing moment takes upon itself an
individuality, and a character of climax, which it is destined to
lose after a while, and to fade into the dark gray tissue common to
the grave or glad events of many years ago. It is but for a moment,
comparatively, that anything looks strange or startling,—a truth
that has the bitter and the sweet in it. But Hepzibah could not rid
herself of the sense of something unprecedented at that instant
passing and soon to be accomplished. Her nerves were in a shake.
Instinctively she paused before the arched window, and looked out
upon the street, in order to seize its permanent objects with her
mental grasp, and thus to steady herself from the reel and
vibration which affected her more immediate sphere. It brought her
up, as we may say, with a kind of shock, when she beheld everything
under the same appearance as the day before, and numberless
preceding days, except for the difference between sunshine and
sullen storm. Her eyes travelled along the street, from doorstep to
doorstep, noting the wet sidewalks, with here and there a puddle in
hollows that had been imperceptible until filled with water. She
screwed her dim optics to their acutest point, in the hope of
making out, with greater distinctness, a certain window, where she
half saw, half guessed, that a tailor's seamstress was sitting at
her work. Hepzibah flung herself upon that unknown woman's
companionship, even thus far off. Then she was attracted by a
chaise rapidly passing, and watched its moist and glistening top,
and its splashing wheels, until it had turned the corner, and
refused to carry any further her idly trifling, because appalled
and overburdened, mind. When the vehicle had disappeared, she
allowed herself still another loitering moment; for the patched
figure of good Uncle Venner was now visible, coming slowly from the
head of the street downward, with a rheumatic limp, because the
east wind had got into his joints. Hepzibah wished that he would
pass yet more slowly, and befriend her shivering solitude a little
longer. Anything that would take her out of the grievous present,
and interpose human beings betwixt herself and what was nearest to
her,—whatever would defer for an instant the inevitable errand on
which she was bound,—all such impediments were welcome. Next to the
lightest heart, the heaviest is apt to be most playful. Hepzibah
had little hardihood for her own proper pain, and far less for what
she must inflict on Clifford. Of so slight a nature, and so
shattered by his previous calamities, it could not well be short of
utter ruin to bring him face to face with the hard, relentless man
who had been his evil destiny through life. Even had there been no
bitter recollections, nor any hostile interest now at stake between
them, the mere natural repugnance of the more sensitive system to
the massive, weighty, and unimpressible one, must, in itself, have
been disastrous to the former. It would be like flinging a
porcelain vase, with already a crack in it, against a granite
column. Never before had Hepzibah so adequately estimated the
powerful character of her cousin Jaffrey,—powerful by intellect,
energy of will, the long habit of acting among men, and, as she
believed, by his unscrupulous pursuit of selfish ends through evil
means. It did but increase the difficulty that Judge Pyncheon was
under a delusion as to the secret which he supposed Clifford to
possess. Men of his strength of purpose and customary sagacity, if
they chance to adopt a mistaken opinion in practical matters, so
wedge it and fasten it among things known to be true, that to
wrench it out of their minds is hardly less difficult than pulling
up an oak. Thus, as the Judge required an impossibility of
Clifford, the latter, as he could not perform it, must needs
perish. For what, in the grasp of a man like this, was to become of
Clifford's soft poetic nature, that never should have had a task
more stubborn than to set a life of beautiful enjoyment to the flow
and rhythm of musical cadences! Indeed, what had become of it
already? Broken! Blighted! All but annihilated! Soon to be wholly
so! For a moment, the thought crossed Hepzibah's mind, whether
Clifford might not really have such knowledge of their deceased
uncle's vanished estate as the Judge imputed to him. She remembered
some vague intimations, on her brother's part, which—if the
supposition were not essentially preposterous —might have been so
interpreted. There had been schemes of travel and residence abroad,
day-dreams of brilliant life at home, and splendid castles in the
air, which it would have required boundless wealth to build and
realize. Had this wealth been in her power, how gladly would
Hepzibah have bestowed it all upon her iron-hearted kinsman, to buy
for Clifford the freedom and seclusion of the desolate old house!
But she believed that her brother's schemes were as destitute of
actual substance and purpose as a child's pictures of its future
life, while sitting in a little chair by its mother's knee.
Clifford had none but shadowy gold at his command; and it was not
the stuff to satisfy Judge Pyncheon! Was there no help in their
extremity? It seemed strange that there should be none, with a city
round about her. It would be so easy to throw up the window, and
send forth a shriek, at the strange agony of which everybody would
come hastening to the rescue, well understanding it to be the cry
of a human soul, at some dreadful crisis! But how wild, how almost
laughable, the fatality, —and yet how continually it comes to pass,
thought Hepzibah, in this dull delirium of a world,—that whosoever,
and with however kindly a purpose, should come to help, they would
be sure to help the strongest side! Might and wrong combined, like
iron magnetized, are endowed with irresistible attraction. There
would be Judge Pyncheon, —a person eminent in the public view, of
high station and great wealth, a philanthropist, a member of
Congress and of the church, and intimately associated with whatever
else bestows good name,—so imposing, in these advantageous lights,
that Hepzibah herself could hardly help shrinking from her own
conclusions as to his hollow integrity. The Judge, on one side! And
who, on the other? The guilty Clifford! Once a byword! Now, an
indistinctly remembered ignominy! Nevertheless, in spite of this
perception that the Judge would draw all human aid to his own
behalf, Hepzibah was so unaccustomed to act for herself, that the
least word of counsel would have swayed her to any mode of action.
Little Phoebe Pyncheon would at once have lighted up the whole
scene, if not by any available suggestion, yet simply by the warm
vivacity of her character. The idea of the artist occurred to
Hepzibah. Young and unknown, mere vagrant adventurer as he was, she
had been conscious of a force in Holgrave which might well adapt
him to be the champion of a crisis. With this thought in her mind,
she unbolted a door, cobwebbed and long disused, but which had
served as a former medium of communication between her own part of
the house and the gable where the wandering daguerreotypist had now
established his temporary home. He was not there. A book, face
downward, on the table, a roll of manuscript, a half-written sheet,
a newspaper, some tools of his present occupation, and several
rejected daguerreotypes, conveyed an impression as if he were close
at hand. But, at this period of the day, as Hepzibah might have
anticipated, the artist was at his public rooms. With an impulse of
idle curiosity, that flickered among her heavy thoughts, she looked
at one of the daguerreotypes, and beheld Judge Pyncheon frowning at
her. Fate stared her in the face. She turned back from her
fruitless quest, with a heartsinking sense of disappointment. In
all her years of seclusion, she had never felt, as now, what it was
to be alone. It seemed as if the house stood in a desert, or, by
some spell, was made invisible to those who dwelt around, or passed
beside it; so that any mode of misfortune, miserable accident, or
crime might happen in it without the possibility of aid. In her
grief and wounded pride, Hepzibah had spent her life in divesting
herself of friends; she had wilfully cast off the support which God
has ordained his creatures to need from one another; and it was now
her punishment, that Clifford and herself would fall the easier
victims to their kindred enemy. Returning to the arched window, she
lifted her eyes,—scowling, poor, dim-sighted Hepzibah, in the face
of Heaven!—and strove hard to send up a prayer through the dense
gray pavement of clouds. Those mists had gathered, as if to
symbolize a great, brooding mass of human trouble, doubt,
confusion, and chill indifference, between earth and the better
regions. Her faith was too weak; the prayer too heavy to be thus
uplifted. It fell back, a lump of lead, upon her heart. It smote
her with the wretched conviction that Providence intermeddled not
in these petty wrongs of one individual to his fellow, nor had any
balm for these little agonies of a solitary soul; but shed its
justice, and its mercy, in a broad, sunlike sweep, over half the
universe at once. Its vastness made it nothing. But Hepzibah did
not see that, just as there comes a warm sunbeam into every cottage
win dow, so comes a lovebeam of God's care and pity for every
separate need. At last, finding no other pretext for deferring the
torture that she was to inflict on Clifford,—her reluctance to
which was the true cause of her loitering at the window, her search
for the artist, and even her abortive prayer,—dreading, also, to
hear the stern voice of Judge Pyncheon from below stairs, chiding
her delay,—she crept slowly, a pale, grief-stricken figure, a
dismal shape of woman, with almost torpid limbs, slowly to her
brother's door, and knocked! There was no reply. And how should
there have been? Her hand, tremulous with the shrinking purpose
which directed it, had smitten so feebly against the door that the
sound could hardly have gone inward. She knocked again. Still no
response! Nor was it to be wondered at. She had struck with the
entire force of her heart's vibration, communicating, by some
subtile magnetism, her own terror to the summons. Clifford would
turn his face to the pillow, and cover his head beneath the
bedclothes, like a startled child at midnight. She knocked a third
time, three regular strokes, gentle, but perfectly distinct, and
with meaning in them; for, modulate it with what cautious art we
will, the hand cannot help playing some tune of what we feel upon
the senseless wood. Clifford returned no answer. "Clifford! dear
brother." said Hepzibah. "Shall I come in?" A silence. Two or three
times, and more, Hepzibah repeated his name, without result; till,
thinking her brother's sleep unwontedly profound, she undid the
door, and entering, found the chamber vacant. How could he have
come forth, and when, without her knowledge? Was it possible that,
in spite of the stormy day, and worn out with the irksomeness
within doors he had betaken himself to his customary haunt in the
garden, and was now shivering under the cheerless shelter of the
summer-house? She hastily threw up a window, thrust forth her
turbaned head and the half of her gaunt figure, and searched the
whole garden through, as completely as her dim vision would allow.
She could see the interior of the summer-house, and its circular
seat, kept moist by the droppings of the roof. It had no occupant.
Clifford was not thereabouts; unless, indeed, he had crept for
concealment (as, for a moment, Hepzibah fancied might be the case)
into a great, wet mass of tangled and broad-leaved shadow, where
the squash-vines were clambering tumultuously upon an old wooden
framework, set casually aslant against the fence. This could not
be, however; he was not there; for, while Hepzibah was looking, a
strange grimalkin stole forth from the very spot, and picked his
way across the garden. Twice he paused to snuff the air, and then
anew directed his course towards the parlor window. Whether it was
only on account of the stealthy, prying manner common to the race,
or that this cat seemed to have more than ordinary mischief in his
thoughts, the old gentlewoman, in spite of her much perplexity,
felt an impulse to drive the animal away, and accordingly flung
down a window stick. The cat stared up at her, like a detected
thief or murderer, and, the next instant, took to flight. No other
living creature was visible in the garden. Chanticleer and his
family had either not left their roost, disheartened by the
interminable rain, or had done the next wisest thing, by seasonably
returning to it. Hepzibah closed the window. But where was
Clifford? Could it be that, aware of the presence of his Evil
Destiny, he had crept silently down the staircase, while the Judge
and Hepzibah stood talking in the shop, and had softly undone the
fastenings of the outer door, and made his escape into the street?
With that thought, she seemed to behold his gray, wrinkled, yet
childlike aspect, in the old-fashioned garments which he wore about
the house; a figure such as one sometimes imagines himself to be,
with the world's eye upon him, in a troubled dream. This figure of
her wretched brother would go wandering through the city,
attracting all eyes, and everybody's wonder and repugnance, like a
ghost, the more to be shuddered at because visible at noontide. To
incur the ridicule of the younger crowd, that knew him not,—the
harsher scorn and indignation of a few old men, who might recall
his once familiar features! To be the sport of boys, who, when old
enough to run about the streets, have no more reverence for what is
beautiful and holy, nor pity for what is sad,—no more sense of
sacred misery, sanctifying the human shape in which it embodies
itself, —than if Satan were the father of them all! Goaded by their
taunts, their loud, shrill cries, and cruel laughter,—insulted by
the filth of the public ways, which they would fling upon him, —or,
as it might well be, distracted by the mere strange ness of his
situation, though nobody should afflict him with so much as a
thoughtless word,—what wonder if Clifford were to break into some
wild extravagance which was certain to be interpreted as lunacy?
Thus Judge Pyncheon's fiendish scheme would be ready accomplished
to his hands! Then Hepzibah reflected that the town was almost
completely water-girdled. The wharves stretched out towards the
centre of the harbor, and, in this inclement weather, were deserted
by the ordinary throng of merchants, laborers, and sea-faring men;
each wharf a solitude, with the vessels moored stem and stern,
along its misty length. Should her brother's aimless footsteps
stray thitherward, and he but bend, one moment, over the deep,
black tide, would he not bethink himself that here was the sure
refuge within his reach, and that, with a single step, or the
slightest overbalance of his body, he might be forever beyond his
kinsman's gripe? Oh, the temptation! To make of his ponderous
sorrow a security! To sink, with its leaden weight upon him, and
never rise again! The horror of this last conception was too much
for Hepzibah. Even Jaffrey Pyncheon must help her now She hastened
down the staircase, shrieking as she went. "Clifford is gone!" she
cried. "I cannot find my brother. Help, Jaffrey Pyncheon! Some harm
will happen to him!" She threw open the parlor-door. But, what with
the shade of branches across the windows, and the smoke-blackened
ceiling, and the dark oak-panelling of the walls, there was hardly
so much daylight in the room that Hepzibah's imperfect sight could
accurately distinguish the Judge's figure. She was certain,
however, that she saw him sitting in the ancestral armchair, near
the centre of the floor, with his face somewhat averted, and
looking towards a window. So firm and quiet is the nervous system
of such men as Judge Pyncheon, that he had perhaps stirred not more
than once since her departure, but, in the hard composure of his
temperament, retained the position into which accident had thrown
him. "I tell you, Jaffrey," cried Hepzibah impatiently, as she
turned from the parlor-door to search other rooms, "my brother is
not in his chamber! You must help me seek him!" But Judge Pyncheon
was not the man to let himself be startled from an easy-chair with
haste ill-befitting either the dignity of his character or his
broad personal basis, by the alarm of an hysteric woman. Yet,
considering his own inter est in the matter, he might have
bestirred himself with a little more alacrity. "Do you hear me,
Jaffrey Pyncheon?" screamed Hepzibah, as she again approached the
parlor-door, after an ineffectual search elsewhere. "Clifford is
gone." At this instant, on the threshold of the parlor, emerging
from within, appeared Clifford himself! His face was
preternaturally pale; so deadly white, indeed, that, through all
the glimmering indistinctness of the passageway, Hepzibah could
discern his features, as if a light fell on them alone. Their vivid
and wild expression seemed likewise sufficient to illuminate them;
it was an expression of scorn and mockery, coinciding with the
emotions indicated by his gesture. As Clifford stood on the
threshold, partly turning back, he pointed his finger within the
parlor, and shook it slowly as though he would have summoned, not
Hepzibah alone, but the whole world, to gaze at some object
inconceivably ridiculous. This action, so ill-timed and
extravagant,—accompanied, too, with a look that showed more like
joy than any other kind of excitement,—compelled Hepzibah to dread
that her stern kinsman's ominous visit had driven her poor brother
to absolute insanity. Nor could she otherwise account for the
Judge's quiescent mood than by supposing him craftily on the watch,
while Clifford developed these symptoms of a distracted mind. "Be
quiet, Clifford!" whispered his sister, raising her hand to impress
caution. "Oh, for Heaven's sake, be quiet!" "Let him be quiet! What
can he do better?" answered Clifford, with a still wilder gesture,
pointing into the room which he had just quitted. "As for us,
Hepzibah, we can dance now!—we can sing, laugh, play, do what we
will! The weight is gone, Hepzibah! It is gone off this weary old
world, and we may be as light-hearted as little Phoebe herself."
And, in accordance with his words, he began to laugh, still
pointing his finger at the object, invisible to Hepzibah, within
the parlor. She was seized with a sudden intuition of some horrible
thing. She thrust herself past Clifford, and disappeared into the
room; but almost immediately returned, with a cry choking in her
throat. Gazing at her brother with an affrighted glance of inquiry,
she beheld him all in a tremor and a quake, from head to foot,
while, amid these commoted elements of passion or alarm, still
flickered his gusty mirth. "My God! what is to become of us?"
gasped Hepzibah. "Come!" said Clifford in a tone of brief decision,
most unlike what was usual with him. "We stay here too long! Let us
leave the old house to our cousin Jaffrey! He will take good care
of it!" Hepzibah now noticed that Clifford had on a cloak,—a
garment of long ago,—in which he had constantly muffled himself
during these days of easterly storm. He beckoned with his hand, and
intimated, so far as she could comprehend him, his purpose that
they should go together from the house. There are chaotic, blind,
or drunken moments, in the lives of persons who lack real force of
character,—moments of test, in which courage would most assert
itself,—but where these individuals, if left to themselves, stagger
aimlessly along, or follow implicitly whatever guidance may befall
them, even if it be a child's. No matter how preposterous or
insane, a purpose is a Godsend to them. Hepzibah had reached this
point. Unaccustomed to action or responsibility,—full of horror at
what she had seen, and afraid to inquire, or almost to imagine, how
it had come to pass,—affrighted at the fatality which seemed to
pursue her brother,—stupefied by the dim, thick, stifling
atmosphere of dread which filled the house as with a death-smell,
and obliterated all definiteness of thought,—she yielded without a
question, and on the instant, to the will which Clifford expressed.
For herself, she was like a person in a dream, when the will always
sleeps. Clifford, ordinarily so destitute of this faculty, had
found it in the tension of the crisis. "Why do you delay so?" cried
he sharply. "Put on your cloak and hood, or whatever it pleases you
to wear! No matter what; you cannot look beautiful nor brilliant,
my poor Hepzibah! Take your purse, with money in it, and come
along!" Hepzibah obeyed these instructions, as if nothing else were
to be done or thought of. She began to wonder, it is true, why she
did not wake up, and at what still more intolerable pitch of dizzy
trouble her spirit would struggle out of the maze, and make her
conscious that nothing of all this had actually happened. Of course
it was not real; no such black, easterly day as this had yet begun
to be; Judge Pyncheon had not talked with, her. Clifford had not
laughed, pointed, beckoned her away with him; but she had merely
been afflicted— as lonely sleepers often are—with a great deal of
unreasonable misery, in a morning dream! "Now—now—I shall certainly
awake!" thought Hepzibah, as she went to and fro, making her little
preparations. "I can bear it no longer I must wake up now!" But it
came not, that awakening moment! It came not, even when, just
before they left the house, Clifford stole to the parlor-door, and
made a parting obeisance to the sole occupant of the room. "What an
absurd figure the old fellow cuts now!" whispered he to Hepzibah.
"Just when he fancied he had me completely under his thumb! Come,
come; make haste! or he will start up, like Giant Despair in
pursuit of Christian and Hopeful, and catch us yet!" As they passed
into the street, Clifford directed Hepzibah's attention to
something on one of the posts of the front door. It was merely the
initials of his own name, which, with somewhat of his
characteristic grace about the forms of the letters, he had cut
there when a boy. The brother and sister departed, and left Judge
Pyncheon sitting in the old home of his forefathers, all by
himself; so heavy and lumpish that we can liken him to nothing
better than a defunct nightmare, which had perished in the midst of
its wickedness, and left its flabby corpse on the breast of the
tormented one, to be gotten rid of as it might!