XI. The Arched Window
From the inertness, or what we may term the vegetative character,
of his ordinary mood, Clifford would perhaps have been content to
spend one day after another, interminably,—or, at least, throughout
the summer-time,—in just the kind of life described in the
preceding pages. Fancying, however, that it might be for his
benefit occasionally to diversify the scene, Phoebe sometimes
suggested that he should look out upon the life of the street. For
this purpose, they used to mount the staircase together, to the
second story of the house, where, at the termination of a wide
entry, there was an arched window, of uncommonly large dimensions,
shaded by a pair of curtains. It opened above the porch, where
there had formerly been a balcony, the balustrade of which had long
since gone to decay, and been removed. At this arched window,
throwing it open, but keeping himself in comparative obscurity by
means of the curtain, Clifford had an opportunity of witnessing
such a portion of the great world's movement as might be supposed
to roll through one of the retired streets of a not very populous
city. But he and Phoebe made a sight as well worth seeing as any
that the city could exhibit. The pale, gray, childish, aged,
melancholy, yet often simply cheerful, and sometimes delicately
intelligent aspect of Clifford, peering from behind the faded
crimson of the curtain, —watching the monotony of every-day
occurrences with a kind of inconsequential interest and
earnestness, and, at every petty throb of his sensibility, turning
for sympathy to the eyes of the bright young girl! If once he were
fairly seated at the window, even Pyncheon Street would hardly be
so dull and lonely but that, somewhere or other along its extent,
Clifford might discover matter to occupy his eye, and titillate, if
not engross, his observation. Things familiar to the youngest child
that had begun its outlook at existence seemed strange to him. A
cab; an omnibus, with its populous interior, dropping here and
there a passenger, and picking up another, and thus typifying that
vast rolling vehicle, the world, the end of whose journey is
everywhere and nowhere; these objects he followed eagerly with his
eyes, but forgot them before the dust raised by the horses and
wheels had settled along their track. As regarded novelties (among
which cabs and omnibuses were to be reck oned), his mind appeared
to have lost its proper gripe and retentiveness. Twice or thrice,
for example, during the sunny hours of the day, a water-cart went
along by the Pyncheon House, leaving a broad wake of moistened
earth, instead of the white dust that had risen at a lady's
lightest footfall; it was like a summer shower, which the city
authorities had caught and tamed, and compelled it into the
commonest routine of their convenience. With the water-cart
Clifford could never grow familiar; it always affected him with
just the same surprise as at first. His mind took an apparently
sharp impression from it, but lost the recollection of this
perambulatory shower, before its next reappearance, as completely
as did the street itself, along which the heat so quickly strewed
white dust again. It was the same with the railroad. Clifford could
hear the obstreperous howl of the steam-devil, and, by leaning a
little way from the arched window, could catch a glimpse of the
trains of cars, flashing a brief transit across the extremity of
the street. The idea of terrible energy thus forced upon him was
new at every recurrence, and seemed to affect him as disagreeably,
and with almost as much surprise, the hundredth time as the first.
Nothing gives a sadder sense of decay than this loss or suspension
of the power to deal with unaccustomed things, and to keep up with
the swiftness of the passing moment. It can merely be a suspended
animation; for, were the power actually to perish, there would be
little use of immortality. We are less than ghosts, for the time
being, whenever this calamity befalls us. Clifford was indeed the
most inveterate of conservatives. All the antique fashions of the
street were dear to him; even such as were characterized by a
rudeness that would naturally have annoyed his fastidious senses.
He loved the old rumbling and jolting carts, the former track of
which he still found in his long-buried remembrance, as the
observer of to-day finds the wheel-tracks of ancient vehicles in
Herculaneum. The butcher's cart, with its snowy canopy, was an
acceptable object; so was the fish-cart, heralded by its horn; so,
likewise, was the countryman's cart of vegetables, plodding from
door to door, with long pauses of the patient horse, while his
owner drove a trade in turnips, carrots, summer-squashes,
string-beans, green peas, and new potatoes, with half the
housewives of the neighborhood. The baker's cart, with the harsh
music of its bells, had a pleasant effect on Clifford, because, as
few things else did, it jingled the very dissonance of yore. One
afternoon a scissor-grinder chanced to set his wheel a-going under
the Pyncheon Elm, and just in front of the arched window. Children
came running with their mothers' scissors, or the carving-knife, or
the paternal razor, or anything else that lacked an edge (except,
indeed, poor Clifford's wits), that the grinder might apply the
article to his magic wheel, and give it back as good as new. Round
went the busily revolving machinery, kept in motion by the
scissor-grinder's foot, and wore away the hard steel against the
hard stone, whence issued an intense and spiteful prolongation of a
hiss as fierce as those emitted by Satan and his compeers in
Pandemonium, though squeezed into smaller compass. It was an ugly,
little, venomous serpent of a noise, as ever did petty violence to
human ears. But Clifford listened with rapturous delight. The
sound, however disagreeable, had very brisk life in it, and,
together with the circle of curious children watching the
revolutions of the wheel, appeared to give him a more vivid sense
of active, bustling, and sunshiny existence than he had attained in
almost any other way. Nevertheless, its charm lay chiefly in the
past; for the scissor-grinder's wheel had hissed in his childish
ears. He sometimes made doleful complaint that there were no
stage-coaches nowadays. And he asked in an injured tone what had
become of all those old square-topped chaises, with wings sticking
out on either side, that used to be drawn by a plough-horse, and
driven by a farmer's wife and daughter, peddling whortle-berries
and blackberries about the town. Their disappearance made him
doubt, he said, whether the berries had not left off growing in the
broad pastures and along the shady country lanes. But anything that
appealed to the sense of beauty, in however humble a way, did not
require to be recommended by these old associations. This was
observable when one of those Italian boys (who are rather a modern
feature of our streets) came along with his barrel-organ, and
stopped under the wide and cool shadows of the elm. With his quick
professional eye he took note of the two faces watching him from
the arched window, and, opening his instrument, began to scatter
its melodies abroad. He had a monkey on his shoul der, dressed in a
Highland plaid; and, to complete the sum of splendid attractions
wherewith he presented himself to the public, there was a company
of little figures, whose sphere and habitation was in the mahogany
case of his organ, and whose principle of life was the music which
the Italian made it his business to grind out. In all their variety
of occupation,—the cobbler, the blacksmith, the soldier, the lady
with her fan, the toper with his bottle, the milkmaid sitting by
her, cow—this fortunate little society might truly be said to enjoy
a harmonious existence, and to make life literally a dance. The
Italian turned a crank; and, behold! every one of these small
individuals started into the most curious vivacity. The cobbler
wrought upon a shoe; the blacksmith hammered his iron, the soldier
waved his glittering blade; the lady raised a tiny breeze with her
fan; the jolly toper swigged lustily at his bottle; a scholar
opened his book with eager thirst for knowledge, and turned his
head to and fro along the page; the milkmaid energetically drained
her cow; and a miser counted gold into his strong-box,—all at the
same turning of a crank. Yes; and, moved by the self-same impulse,
a lover saluted his mistress on her lips! Possibly some cynic, at
once merry and bitter, had desired to signify, in this pantomimic
scene, that we mortals, whatever our business or amusement,—however
serious, however trifling, —all dance to one identical tune, and,
in spite of our ridiculous activity, bring nothing finally to pass.
For the most remarkable aspect of the affair was, that, at the
cessation of the music, everybody was petrified at once, from the
most extravagant life into a dead torpor. Neither was the cobbler's
shoe finished, nor the blacksmith's iron shaped out; nor was there
a drop less of brandy in the toper's bottle, nor a drop more of
milk in the milkmaid's pail, nor one additional coin in the miser's
strong-box, nor was the scholar a page deeper in his book. All were
precisely in the same condition as before they made themselves so
ridiculous by their haste to toil, to enjoy, to accumulate gold,
and to become wise. Saddest of all, moreover, the lover was none
the happier for the maiden's granted kiss! But, rather than swallow
this last too acrid ingredient, we reject the whole moral of the
show. The monkey, meanwhile, with a thick tail curling out into
preposterous prolixity from beneath his tartans, took his station
at the Italian's feet. He turned a wrinkled and abomi nable little
visage to every passer-by, and to the circle of children that soon
gathered round, and to Hepzibah's shop-door, and upward to the
arched window, whence Phoebe and Clifford were looking down. Every
moment, also, he took off his Highland bonnet, and performed a bow
and scrape. Sometimes, moreover, he made personal application to
individuals, holding out his small black palm, and otherwise
plainly signifying his excessive desire for whatever filthy lucre
might happen to be in anybody's pocket. The mean and low, yet
strangely man-like expression of his wilted countenance; the prying
and crafty glance, that showed him ready to gripe at every
miserable advantage; his enormous tail (too enormous to be decently
concealed under his gabardine), and the deviltry of nature which it
betokened,—take this monkey just as he was, in short, and you could
desire no better image of the Mammon of copper coin, symbolizing
the grossest form of the love of money. Neither was there any
possibility of satisfying the covetous little devil. Phoebe threw
down a whole handful of cents, which he picked up with joyless
eagerness, handed them over to the Italian for safekeeping, and
immediately recommenced a series of pantomimic petitions for more.
Doubtless, more than one New-Englander—or, let him be of what
country he might, it is as likely to be the case—passed by, and
threw a look at the monkey, and went on, without imagining how
nearly his own moral condition was here exemplified. Clifford,
however, was a being of another order. He had taken childish
delight in the music, and smiled, too, at the figures which it set
in motion. But, after looking awhile at the long-tailed imp, he was
so shocked by his horrible ugliness, spiritual as well as physical,
that he actually began to shed tears; a weakness which men of
merely delicate endowments, and destitute of the fiercer, deeper,
and more tragic power of laughter, can hardly avoid, when the worst
and meanest aspect of life happens to be presented to them.
Pyncheon Street was sometimes enlivened by spectacles of more
imposing pretensions than the above, and which brought the
multitude along with them. With a shivering repugnance at the idea
of personal contact with the world, a powerful impulse still seized
on Clifford, whenever the rush and roar of the human tide grew
strongly audible to him. This was made evident, one day, when a
political proces sion, with hundreds of flaunting banners, and
drums, fifes, clarions, and cymbals, reverberating between the rows
of buildings, marched all through town, and trailed its length of
trampling footsteps, and most infrequent uproar, past the
ordinarily quiet House of the Seven Gables. As a mere object of
sight, nothing is more deficient in picturesque features than a
procession seen in its passage through narrow streets. The
spectator feels it to be fool's play, when he can distinguish the
tedious commonplace of each man's visage, with the perspiration and
weary self-importance on it, and the very cut of his pantaloons,
and the stiffness or laxity of his shirt-collar, and the dust on
the back of his black coat. In order to become majestic, it should
be viewed from some vantage point, as it rolls its slow and long
array through the centre of a wide plain, or the stateliest public
square of a city; for then, by its remoteness, it melts all the
petty personalities, of which it is made up, into one broad mass of
existence,—one great life,—one collected body of mankind, with a
vast, homogeneous spirit animating it. But, on the other hand, if
an impressible person, standing alone over the brink of one of
these processions, should behold it, not in its atoms, but in its
aggregate,—as a mighty river of life, massive in its tide, and
black with mystery, and, out of its depths, calling to the kindred
depth within him,—then the contiguity would add to the effect. It
might so fascinate him that he would hardly be restrained from
plunging into the surging stream of human sympathies. So it proved
with Clifford. He shuddered; he grew pale; he threw an appealing
look at Hepzibah and Phoebe, who were with him at the window. They
comprehended nothing of his emotions, and supposed him merely
disturbed by the unaccustomed tumult. At last, with tremulous
limbs, he started up, set his foot on the window-sill, and in an
instant more would have been in the unguarded balcony. As it was,
the whole procession might have seen him, a wild, haggard figure,
his gray locks floating in the wind that waved their banners; a
lonely being, estranged from his race, but now feeling himself man
again, by virtue of the irrepressible instinct that possessed him.
Had Clifford attained the balcony, he would probably have leaped
into the street; but whether impelled by the species of terror that
sometimes urges its victim over the very precipice which he shrinks
from, or by a natural magnetism, tending towards the great centre
of humanity, it were not easy to decide. Both impulses might have
wrought on him at once. But his companions, affrighted by his
gesture,—which was that of a man hurried away in spite of
himself,—seized Clifford's garment and held him back. Hepzibah
shrieked. Phoebe, to whom all extravagance was a horror, burst into
sobs and tears. "Clifford, Clifford! are you crazy?" cried his
sister. "I hardly know, Hepzibah," said Clifford, drawing a long
breath. "Fear nothing,—it is over now,—but had I taken that plunge,
and survived it, methinks it would have made me another man!"
Possibly, in some sense, Clifford may have been right. He needed a
shock; or perhaps he required to take a deep, deep plunge into the
ocean of human life, and to sink down and be covered by its
profoundness, and then to emerge, sobered, invigorated, restored to
the world and to himself. Perhaps again, he required nothing less
than the great final remedy—death! A similar yearning to renew the
broken links of brotherhood with his kind sometimes showed itself
in a milder form; and once it was made beautiful by the religion
that lay even deeper than itself. In the incident now to be
sketched, there was a touching recognition, on Clifford's part, of
God's care and love towards him,—towards this poor, forsaken man,
who, if any mortal could, might have been pardoned for regarding
himself as thrown aside, forgotten, and left to be the sport of
some fiend, whose playfulness was an ecstasy of mischief. It was
the Sabbath morning; one of those bright, calm Sabbaths, with its
own hallowed atmosphere, when Heaven seems to diffuse itself over
the earth's face in a solemn smile, no less sweet than solemn. On
such a Sabbath morn, were we pure enough to be its medium, we
should be conscious of the earth's natural worship ascending
through our frames, on whatever spot of ground we stood. The
church-bells, with various tones, but all in harmony, were calling
out and responding to one another,—"It is the Sabbath! —The
Sabbath!—Yea; the Sabbath!"—and over the whole city the bells
scattered the blessed sounds, now slowly, now with livelier joy,
now one bell alone, now all the bells together, crying
earnestly,—"It is the Sabbath!" and flinging their accents afar
off, to melt into the air and pervade it with the holy word. The
air with God's sweetest and tenderest sunshine in it, was meet for
mankind to breathe into their hearts, and send it forth again as
the utterance of prayer. Clifford sat at the window with Hepzibah,
watching the neighbors as they stepped into the street. All of
them, however unspiritual on other days, were transfigured by the
Sabbath influence; so that their very garments—whether it were an
old man's decent coat well brushed for the thousandth time, or a
little boy's first sack and trousers finished yesterday by his
mother's needle—had somewhat of the quality of ascension-robes.
Forth, likewise, from the portal of the old house stepped Phoebe,
putting up her small green sunshade, and throwing upward a glance
and smile of parting kindness to the faces at the arched window. In
her aspect there was a familiar gladness, and a holiness that you
could play with, and yet reverence it as much as ever. She was like
a prayer, offered up in the homeliest beauty of one's
mother-tongue. Fresh was Phoebe, moreover, and airy and sweet in
her apparel; as if nothing that she wore—neither her gown, nor her
small straw bonnet, nor her little kerchief, any more than her
snowy stockings—had ever been put on before; or, if worn, were all
the fresher for it, and with a fragrance as if they had lain among
the rose-buds. The girl waved her hand to Hepzibah and Clifford,
and went up the street; a religion in herself, warm, simple, true,
with a substance that could walk on earth, and a spirit that was
capable of heaven. "Hepzibah," asked Clifford, after watching
Phoebe to the corner, "do you never go to church?" "No, Clifford!"
she replied,—"not these many, many years!" "Were I to be there," he
rejoined, "it seems to me that I could pray once more, when so many
human souls were praying all around me!" She looked into Clifford's
face, and beheld there a soft natural effusion; for his heart
gushed out, as it were, and ran over at his eyes, in delightful
reverence for God, and kindly affection for his human brethren. The
emotion communicated itself to Hepzibah. She yearned to take him by
the hand, and go and kneel down, they two together,—both so long
separate from the world, and, as she now recognized, scarcely
friends with Him above,—to kneel down among the people, and be
reconciled to God and man at once. "Dear brother," said she
earnestly, "let us go! We belong nowhere. We have not a foot of
space in any church to kneel upon; but let us go to some place of
worship, even if we stand in the broad aisle. Poor and forsaken as
we are, some pew-door will be opened to us!" So Hepzibah and her
brother made themselves, ready—as ready as they could in the best
of their old-fashioned garments, which had hung on pegs, or been
laid away in trunks, so long that the dampness and mouldy smell of
the past was on them,—made themselves ready, in their faded
bettermost, to go to church. They descended the staircase
together,—gaunt, sallow Hepzibah, and pale, emaciated, age-stricken
Clifford! They pulled open the front door, and stepped across the
threshold, and felt, both of them, as if they were standing in the
presence of the whole world, and with mankind's great and terrible
eye on them alone. The eye of their Father seemed to be withdrawn,
and gave them no encouragement. The warm sunny air of the street
made them shiver. Their hearts quaked within them at the idea of
taking one step farther. "It cannot be, Hepzibah!—it is too late,"
said Clifford with deep sadness. "We are ghosts! We have no right
among human beings,—no right anywhere but in this old house, which
has a curse on it, and which, therefore, we are doomed to haunt!
And, besides," he continued, with a fastidious sensibility,
inalienably characteristic of the man," it would not be fit nor
beautiful to go! It is an ugly thought that I should be frightful
to my fellow-beings, and that children would cling to their
mothers' gowns at sight of me!" They shrank back into the dusky
passage-way, and closed the door. But, going up the staircase
again, they found the whole interior of the house tenfold, more
dismal, and the air closer and heavier, for the glimpse and breath
of freedom which they had just snatched. They could not flee; their
jailer had but left the door ajar in mockery, and stood behind it
to watch them stealing out. At the threshold, they felt his
pitiless gripe upon them. For, what other dungeon is so dark as
one's own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one's self! But it
would be no fair picture of Clifford's state of mind were we to
represent him as continually or prevailingly wretched. On the
contrary, there was no other man in the city, we are bold to
affirm, of so much as half his years, who enjoyed so many lightsome
and griefless moments as himself. He had no burden of care upon
him; there were none of those questions and contingencies with the
future to be settled which wear away all other lives, and render
them not worth having by the very process of providing for their
support. In this respect he was a child, —a child for the whole
term of his existence, be it long or short. Indeed, his life seemed
to be standing still at a period little in advance of childhood,
and to cluster all his reminiscences about that epoch; just as,
after the torpor of a heavy blow, the sufferer's reviving
consciousness goes back to a moment considerably behind the
accident that stupefied him. He sometimes told Phoebe and Hepzibah
his dreams, in which he invariably played the part of a child, or a
very young man. So vivid were they, in his relation of them, that
he once held a dispute with his sister as to the particular figure
or print of a chintz morning-dress which he had seen their mother
wear, in the dream of the preceding night. Hepzibah, piquing
herself on a woman's accuracy in such matters, held it to be
slightly different from what Clifford described; but, producing the
very gown from an old trunk, it proved to be identical with his
remembrance of it. Had Clifford, every time that he emerged out of
dreams so lifelike, undergone the torture of transformation from a
boy into an old and broken man, the daily recurrence of the shock
would have been too much to bear. It would have caused an acute
agony to thrill from the morning twilight, all the day through,
until bedtime; and even then would have mingled a dull, inscrutable
pain and pallid hue of misfortune with the visionary bloom and
adolescence of his slumber. But the nightly moonshine interwove
itself with the morning mist, and enveloped him as in a robe, which
he hugged about his person, and seldom let realities pierce
through; he was not often quite awake, but slept open-eyed, and
perhaps fancied himself most dreaming then. Thus, lingering always
so near his childhood, he had sympathies with children, and kept
his heart the fresher thereby, like a reservoir into which rivulets
were pouring not far from the fountain-head. Though prevented, by a
subtile sense of propriety, from desiring to associate with them,
he loved few things better than to look out of the arched window
and see a little girl driving her hoop along the sidewalk, or
school boys at a game of ball. Their voices, also, were very
pleasant to him, heard at a distance, all swarming and
intermingling together as flies do in a sunny room. Clifford would,
doubtless, have been glad to share their sports. One afternoon he
was seized with an irresistible desire to blow soap-bubbles; an
amusement, as Hepzibah told Phoebe apart, that had been a favorite
one with her brother when they were both children. Behold him,
therefore, at the arched window, with an earthen pipe in his mouth!
Behold him, with his gray hair, and a wan, unreal smile over his
countenance, where still hovered a beautiful grace, which his worst
enemy must have acknowledged to be spiritual and immortal, since it
had survived so long! Behold him, scattering airy spheres abroad
from the window into the street! Little impalpable worlds were
those soap-bubbles, with the big world depicted, in hues bright as
imagination, on the nothing of their surface. It was curious to see
how the passers-by regarded these brilliant fantasies, as they came
floating down, and made the dull atmosphere imaginative about them.
Some stopped to gaze, and perhaps, carried a pleasant recollection
of the bubbles onward as far as the street-corner; some looked
angrily upward, as if poor Clifford wronged them by setting an
image of beauty afloat so near their dusty pathway. A great many
put out their fingers or their walking-sticks to touch, withal; and
were perversely gratified, no doubt, when the bubble, with all its
pictured earth and sky scene, vanished as if it had never been. At
length, just as an elderly gentleman of very dignified presence
happened to be passing, a large bubble sailed majestically down,
and burst right against his nose! He looked up,—at first with a
stern, keen glance, which penetrated at once into the obscurity
behind the arched window,—then with a smile which might be
conceived as diffusing a dog-day sultriness for the space of
several yards about him. "Aha, Cousin Clifford!" cried Judge
Pyncheon. "What! still blowing soap-bubbles!" The tone seemed as if
meant to be kind and soothing, but yet had a bitterness of sarcasm
in it. As for Clifford, an absolute palsy of fear came over him.
Apart from any definite cause of dread which his past experience
might have given him, he felt that native and original horror of
the excellent Judge which is proper to a weak, delicate, and
apprehensive character in the presence of massive strength.
Strength is incomprehensible by weakness, and, therefore, the more
terrible. There is no greater bugbear than a strong-willed relative
in the circle of his own connections.