Chapter XII

In the early days after his return from
Moscow, whenever Levin shuddered and grew red, remembering the
disgrace of his rejection, he said to himself: “This was just how I
used to shudder and blush, thinking myself utterly lost, when I was
plucked in physics and did not get my remove; and how I thought
myself utterly ruined after I had mismanaged that affair of my
sister’s that was intrusted to me. And yet, now that years have
passed, I recall it and wonder that it could distress me so much.
It will be the same thing too with this trouble. Time will go by
and I shall not mind about this either.”
But three months had passed and he had not left off
minding about it; and it was as painful for him to think of it as
it had been those first days. He could not be at peace because
after dreaming so long of family life, and feeling himself so ripe
for it, he was still not married, and was further than ever from
marriage. He was painfully conscious himself, as were all about
him, that at his years it is not well for man to be alone.1 He
remembered how before starting for Moscow he had once said to his
cowman Nikolay, a simple-hearted peasant, whom he liked talking to:
“Well, Nikolay! I mean to get married,” and how Nikolay had
promptly answered, as of a matter on which there could be no
possible doubt: “And high time too, Konstantin Dmitrievitch.” But
marriage had now become further off than ever. The place was taken,
and whenever he tried to imagine any of the girls he knew in that
place, he felt that it was utterly impossible. Moreover, the
recollection of the rejection and the part he had played in the
affair tortured him with shame. However often he told himself that
he was in no way to blame in it, that recollection, like other
humiliating reminiscences of a similar kind, made him twinge and
blush. There had been in his past, as in every man’s, actions,
recognized by him as bad, for which his conscience ought to have
tormented him; but the memory of these evil actions was far from
causing him so much suffering as those trivial but humiliating
reminiscences. These wounds never healed. And with these memories
was now ranged his rejection and the pitiful position in which he
must have appeared to others that evening. But time and work did
their part. Bitter memories were more and more covered up by the
incidents—paltry in his eyes, but really important—of his country
life. Every week he thought less often of Kitty. He was impatiently
looking forward to the news that she was married, or just going to
be married, hoping that such news would, like having a tooth out,
completely cure him.
Meanwhile spring came on, beautiful and kindly,
without the delays and treacheries of spring,—one of those rare
springs in which plants, beasts, and man rejoice alike. This lovely
spring roused Levin still more, and strengthened him in his
resolution of renouncing all his past and building up his lonely
life firmly and independently. Though many of the plans with which
he had returned to the country had not been carried out, still his
most important resolution—that of purity—had been kept by him. He
was free from that shame, which had usually harassed him after a
fall; and he could look every one straight in the face. In February
he had received a letter from Marya Nikolaevna telling him that his
brother Nikolay’s health was getting worse, but that he would not
take advice, and in consequence of this letter Levin went to Moscow
to his brother’s, and succeeded in persuading him to see a doctor
and to go to a watering-place abroad. He succeeded so well in
persuading his brother, and in lending him money for the journey
without irritating him, that he was satisfied with himself in that
matter. In addition to his farming, which called for special
attention in spring, and in addition to reading, Levin had begun
that winter a work on agriculture, the plan of which turned on
taking into account the character of the laborer on the land as one
of the unalterable data of the question, like the climate and the
soil, and consequently deducing all the principles of scientific
culture, not simply from the data of soil and climate, but from the
data of soil, climate, and a certain unalterable character of the
laborer. Thus, in spite of his solitude, or in consequence of his
solitude, his life was exceedingly full. Only rarely he suffered
from an unsatisfied desire to communicate his stray ideas to some
one besides Agafea Mihalovna. With her indeed he not infrequently
fell into discussions upon physics, the theory of agriculture, and
especially philosophy; philosophy was Agafea Mihalovna’s favorite
subject.
Spring was slow in unfolding. For the last few
weeks it had been steadily fine frosty weather. In the daytime it
thawed in the sun, but at night there were even seven degrees of
frost. There was such a frozen surface on the snow that they drove
the wagons anywhere off the roads. Easter came in the snow. Then
all of a sudden, on Easter Monday, a warm wind sprang up,
storm-clouds swooped down, and for three days and three nights the
warm, driving rain fell in streams. On Thursday the wind dropped,
and a thick gray fog brooded over the land as though hiding the
mysteries of the transformations that were being wrought in nature.
Behind the fog there was the flowing of water, the cracking and
floating of ice, the swift rush of turbid, foaming torrents; and on
the following Monday, in the evening, the fog parted, the
storm-clouds split up into little curling crests of cloud, the sky
cleared, and the real spring had come. In the morning the sun rose
brilliant and quickly wore away the thin layer of ice that covered
the water, and all the warm air was quivering with the steam that
rose up from the quickened earth. The old grass looked greener, and
the young grass thrust up its tiny blades; the buds of the
guelder-rose and of the currant and the sticky birch-buds were
swollen with sap, and an exploring bee was humming about the golden
blossoms that studded the willow. Larks trilled unseen above the
velvety green fields and the ice-covered stubble-land; peewits
wailed over the low lands and marshes flooded by the pools; cranes
and wild geese flew high across the sky uttering their spring
calls. The cattle, bald in patches where the new hair had not grown
yet, lowed in the pastures; the bow-legged lambs frisked round
their bleating mothers. Nimble children ran about the drying paths,
covered with the prints of bare feet. There was a merry chatter of
peasant women over their linen at the pond, and the ring of axes in
the yard, where the peasants were repairing ploughs and
harrows.2 The real
spring had come.